Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for the ‘txhny’ Category

Well, actually we were lying…

Posted by TxHny on September 15, 2011

We were totally dead.  You should have known, since we categorized the last post as “empty promises.”

Basically, TxHny and The Masked Wino, n/k/a RubyLynn got real jobs, got married, and had very busy lives.  Gabriel’s Horn fell by the wayside.  I know, we sparked a fire in your previously suppressed abandonment issues, which took copious amounts of booze to rebury. We’re sorry.

BUT – just in time for your birthday, we’re back. Check us out on http://www.texas-toast.com, our new blog about everything important, which includes college and pro football, traveling, cooking, a bunch of grown up crapola, and the content you’ve been missing terribly.

Oh wait? You didn’t miss us? At all? This is why we abandoned you in the first place you ungrateful brat!

Please read our new blog. You aren’t a brat. We’re sorry.

Posted in Dick Cheney is a bad motha - shut yo mouth!, empty promises, Get your act together dammit, txhny, we're sorry | Leave a Comment »

BCS BS and Basketball

Posted by TxHny on December 3, 2007

Well, there you have it Longhorn fans. The Holiday Bowl. Hooray. The BCS bowl selections bring their usual expected, “Wha??? Um…okay. Whatever. I’ll watch it. But I don’t care who wins. At all.”

I’m actually pretty satisfied with Arizona State – I could think of much worse match ups. Should be a good game.

Onward…

Longhorn basketball. Wow – looks like we can expect big things from the men in orange this year. In case you missed it….

I know the big question on many Longhorn fans’ minds preseason: “Who will step up in the vacuum of Kevin Durant?” (You remember KD, right? Good.) The answer: Everyone.

It is no secret that football is my obsession and that I don’t know nearly as much about basketball. However, this Longhorn is delightfully excited about our basketball team this year.

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now.

Still not interested in basketball? Well… I certainly missed this until my friend TB at Bring on The Cats mentioned it. Wow. I have nothing else to say. Wow.

Posted in basketball, Big 12, blog love, Kansas State, Texas, txhny | 2 Comments »

Excuses, Excuses.

Posted by TxHny on November 28, 2007

GIVEN FACTS:

Thanksgiving Holiday —> Must See Family
Must See Family —> Crowded Airports
Crowded Airports —> Lots of germs
Lots of germs —> Very sick
Must See Family —> Must go to Podunk, Texas
Podunk, Texas —> No internet access
Must See Family —> Verge of Insanity
Texas Wins —> Happiness
Texas Loses —> Sadness
Texas Loses to Texas A&M —> Complete Despair
Must See Family —> Must Take Off From Work
Must Take Off From Work —> Very Behind At Work

Very Sick + No Internet Access + Verge of Insanity + No Happines + Sadness  + Complete Dispair + Very Behind at Work = Total Blog Neglect.

Promise: back on track this week. In the meantime, enjoy the following and — I think we can all agree with dahorns: Go Longhorn Basketball!!

Aggie Pwned:

Giving Him The Business (HT: RonB)

Adult Swim BCS Commentary (HT: Kevo)
Boston Can Suck it!

In preparation for the Cowboys/Green Bay game… an oldie from one of our favorite blogs: Kissing Suzy Kolber.

Posted in basketball, Cowboys, Get your act together dammit, random babble, txhny | 5 Comments »

I’m REALLY Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 5, 6, 7…

Posted by TxHny on November 20, 2007

As Ron pointed out, I sort of fell off the wagon. I am very glad I am a Longhorn, just a busy Longhorn.
In an effort to makeup for missed time over the weekend, I offer the following collection:

LONGHORN LOVE

tower.jpg texas-honeys.jpg
Beautiful Campus… Great Fans…

AND AGGIE LOATHING

12th Man Entertainment @ TexAgs

yell-leaders.jpg cheer2.jpg
Ice Cream Men… Ironic Merchandise…

And to top it all off, I’ll request a little help from you. Yes, yes, it is a caption contest. I’ll get you started. Prize to be determined by your location. 🙂

captioncontest.jpg
“Why can’t you be more like Jamaal Charles?”

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 5 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 4

Posted by TxHny on November 15, 2007

Alright, alright. I’ll relent… temporarily. My oldest friend in the world is an Aggie, I have an Aggie family member and many, many friends and colleagues from Texas A&M. As Thanksgiving is one week away (celebrating today at the firm), I’ll put it on the record – I’m thankful for Aggies.

I look forward to the Friday game each year and it is in fact, now tightly associated with my family holiday traditions. Furthermore, I’m glad we have a rivalry with a gang that relates to so many things we adore here at Texas: southern hospitality, tradition (in whatever way you define it), football, discipline, world class institutions of higher learning and  a (perhaps slightly unhealthy) love for the greatest state in the land.

Aggies, deep down I know you feel the same way.

gigem_horns.jpg

Tomorrow, we’ll do a defensive rundown on our Lonestar rivals, and the ridicule will resume.

Posted in Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 3

Posted by TxHny on November 14, 2007

Aggie Jokes are like bellybuttons – everyone has one. Here are a few of my favorites – add yours in the comments – or if you dare, give us your best shot back!

 

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey bartender, I know a great Aggie joke. You want to hear it?” The bartender says, “Well, before you tell it I should probably tell you that I went to A&M. And you see those two big guys sitting next to you — they were linebackers for the A&M football team. And those two guys on your other side — they’re Marines, and they used to be in the Corps of Cadets at A&M. Now, are you sure you really want to tell that Aggie joke?” The guy thinks for a second. “I guess not,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”

 

An Aggie student is doing an experiment with a frog. He wants to see how far the frog jumps each time he cuts off a eg. The Aggie student cuts off one of the frogs legs and says, “Jump froggy.” He records in his notebook, “Froggy with three legs jumps one foot.” He cuts off a second leg and says, “Jump froggy.” In his notebook he writes, “Froggy with two legs jumps six inches.” He cuts off its third leg and says, “Jump froggy.” He writes down in his notebook, “Froggy with one leg jumps 3 inches.” Then he cuts off its last leg and says, “Jump froggy.” The frog just sits there. The Aggie says again, “Jump froggy!” but the frog just sits there. Finally, he writes in his
notebook, “Froggy with no legs can’t hear.”

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the A&M campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.

 

How can you tell an Aggie is on location at a drilling rig?
He’s the one throwing bread to the helicopters.

There was a group of Aggie science students that wanted to send a probe to the sun, but some UT students said that was impossible and that the probe would burn up long before reaching the sun. The Aggies replied that they planned to send the probe at night.

 

A Longhorn, a Techster and an Aggie went into a bar for a drink. The longhorn tells the bartender, I’ll have a TC. The bartender says ”what’s that?” . The Longhorn says ”you know, a Tom Collins.” The Techster says ”I’ll have a PC.” The bartender says ”what’s that?” The Techster says “a Pina Colida.” The Aggie says “I’ll have a 15.” The bartender says ”what’s that?” The aggie says “you know — seven & seven”.

Aggie 1: Did you hear the good news? Scientists discovered that Mad Cow Disease is not able to be sexually transmitted.
Aggie 2: What a relief!

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 6 Comments »

Texas Toast – Sam Adams!!

Posted by TxHny on November 13, 2007

This week we toast Samuel Adams Winter Lager.

 

You might be confused by the fact that it is 85 degrees out in beautiful Austin, Texas but we are in fact in Winter. The “cooler” season brings championship games, super bowls and –my other love– delicious winter brews.

 

samadamswinter.jpg
Mmm… winter….

 

I’ve personally always been a fan of the Sam Adams regular brews. Tasty but not too filling. This winter ale follows suit, giving you the robust gingery, cinnamony flaver you want in a winter ale without the heavy, full feeling of a typical dark seasonal dark. First brewed in 1989, the folks at Sam Adams have got this one down – and at 200 calories per beer, this one certainly will let you in on the fun without the guilt. (Other seasonal darks are much higher in caloric intake.)

 

Is this the best winter/dark beer I’ve ever had? No it is not. Dark beers are a tough category to top out the charts. This is, however, a great beer that many people will enjoy and will go along perfect with your holiday fare.

 

You can pick up a 6 pack of longnecks at HEB for around $6.50 (nice price!) through January.

 

I give it 3.5 out of 5.

 

wlbottle.jpgwlbottle.jpgwlbottle.jpg

Posted in Texas Toast, txhny | Leave a Comment »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 2

Posted by TxHny on November 13, 2007

You know I love numbered lists. I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn, let me count the ways.

1. No Overalls. No Ugly T-Shirts. Oh, and no overalls. Really?! OVERALLS? We have burnt orange to work with – and we make it look good. You have MAROON – you can’t do anything better with maroon?!

aggie-overalls.jpg

2. We have a “rivalry” with many schools – everyone likes to beat Texas (we’re kind of the yard stick, you know what I mean?) However, I’m happy to say there is no penis envy lurking around Austin. Last week the Aggies sang about beating Texas, wore anti-Texas shirts and did the horns down. Texas on the other hand was focused on beating Texas Tech and completely unconcerned at all with Texas A&M.

3. Cool merchandise. Yes. These are raggedy Aggies. Really. Really?
raggedy_aggies.jpg

4. No pretending, homoeroticism. Which would you rather?
corps.jpg or lhb.jpg

yell-leaders.gif or texas-cheer.jpg
Even Aggies prefer Texas cheer

5. At Texas nobody uses the word “tradition” to justify many, many inexplicable acts.

6. The most revered entity on our campus is not Lassie.

7. Nothing as comical/disgraceful as this: http://www.texags.com/main/forum.main.asp

8. 73-35-5

9. 47 National Championships in 11 sports

10. What Starts Here Changes The World.

Posted in like - school spirit!, Meet The Opponent, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 5 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 1

Posted by TxHny on November 12, 2007

We have a full two weeks to properly prepare ourselves for our annual showdown with our sheepish friends in College Station. Expect some in depth breakdown later in the week. Until then I provide this for your viewing…uh…pleasure.

Man of the House was pretty bad, but this makes me feel much, much better about it. (I was an extra in Man of the House, btw. I’m wearing the Letter I in Fight. 🙂 )

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 6 Comments »

A few notes…

Posted by TxHny on November 12, 2007

horn.pngFutbol. While we’re all busy scratching our heads about what it would take to get Texas to the Sugar Bowl, the Longhorn Soccer Ladies picked up another Big 12 Soccer Tournament title. They defeated Texas A&M 2-1 to take the tournament. Congrats ladies.

horn.pngInjuries, good and bad. Senior Tony Hills is out for the last game of the season. Jamaal Charles will have two weeks to heal his heel. Thanks for everything Tony. No news yet about Norton, others.

horn.pngLeach is crazy, new appreciation for Mack Brown. While I sincerely enjoyed Mack’s much needed “meltdown” at the Oklahoma State game, I’m really glad we have a more dignified and respectful coach on our sidelines. This outburst by Mike Leach regarding the officiating at the game is classless, disrespectful and most of all unfounded. That first Longhorn TD was questionable, but that is just the way the game goes. We’ve had calls like that against us many times. Sure, we like to bitch about them, but we aren’t the coach of a football team. Normally Leach’s antics amuse me, but I hope he has to walk the plank for this…

horn.pngBack to life, back to reality. (If you get this joke +5 points for you.) We knew this year was not going to be easy and early on in the year I heard predictions of six losses. I certainly didn’t believe six, but I might have given you four. Texas may not be headed to the MNC, but I think we quieted a lot of dissent on Saturday.

 

“I think we’re back in the mix,” Texas coach Mack Brown said. “What we need to do is play well in two weeks [against Texas A&M]. Then, if something crazy happens and the [Big 12] championship game is a possibility, that would be great. If not, we’re obviously all playing to get in the best place we can get in January.”

Their hopes of making the Big 12 championship game will depend on Oklahoma losing its last two regular-season games against Texas Tech and Oklahoma State. Texas will need to be ranked in the top 14 in the final BCS standings to be considered as an at-large team.

Back in the Saddle, ESPN

horn.pngRetraction of hate, hate, hate. Greg Davis – if that was really you up there in the booth, all I have to say is FINALLY!!!! I was watching the game and a friend remarked, “Did Texas just run a play that no one expected?!” Yes, yes they did. All afternoon the Horns showed offensive depth, originality and execution. Beautiful. Just like that against the Aggies, okay? And Tony Romo, I still don’t like you… but … good game yesterday. There. I said it.

EDIT

Check this out. Spin! Spin! TD!!!!!

Posted in Injuries, random babble, Soccer, Texas, texas tech, Tony Romo - hate hate hate, txhny | 6 Comments »