Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for the ‘tv shows we love’ Category

Project Runway – Football Style

Posted by RubyLynn on November 14, 2007

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Tonight. Bravo. 9pm. Get excited!

We here at the Horn are ECSTATIC that the new season of Project Runway premieres tonight. We are especially excited that we’ve recruited Tim Gunn to critique some of football’s fashions. Don’t mess with the Gunn… or you’ll get shot!

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I’m a little worried.

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Well, I certainly admire your camaraderie, but wearing white after labor day is simply a faux pas, even in College Station. And I don’t get the red shoes, is that some sort of nod to the Wizard of Oz?

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Oh, Coach Fran. I understand your man-mammaries are a problem area, but you’ve just got to make it work!

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Oregon Football. Sometimes less is more! All of these tire treads remind me of Angela’s unnecessary rosettes!

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Oh Mark. When will you learn? You’ve got a lot of problem areas here. I think it might help to choose some elongating garments. Perhaps something with a vertical line to it. You’re only as fat as you dress yourself.

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Visors are SO last national championship. And really, pleated pants? How revolting!

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I love this homage to the military thing that’s happening, but I wonder if it’s not a little confusing? I don’t really understand the tall boots with the short sleeves. Those boots are so hot this season when styled correctly.

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Oh, where to start. I’m a little worried about this trend you’ve created. Those spray-painted S’s make me think of those god-awful message tees that were too popular for too long. What kind of a statement are you trying to make anyway? Are you super? Is the designer super? I’m just a little confused here. I think you might have to start from scratch with this one.

Thanks Tim! Great insight!

Posted in themaskedwino, tv shows we love | 1 Comment »

It’s business, It’s business time

Posted by RubyLynn on September 26, 2007

“But it’s okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance.”

Here ya go fellas:

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That soft, touchable skin, those adorable ears, the knowing smile, the cute silly voice… what a great gal.

And for the ladies… We were going to find a picture of a Chicago Bear to put up, as a consolation prize for the ass-kicking they received from our beloved Cowboys, but upon finding that literally none of the Bears are good-looking enough to live up to our standards, we’re going with a tribute to the brand new Bachelor, Austinite Brad Womack:

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Okay, okay… here’s the real one for the guys.

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Carrie Underwood. Beautiful girl, beautiful voice. (But for the record, she can’t be an official girl-crush of ours because of her horrible, HORRIBLE fashion sense.)

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Seriously? You can take the girl out of Oklahoma…

Posted in Business Time, themaskedwino, Tony Romo - hate hate hate, tv shows we love | 2 Comments »

Save the Big 12. Save the World.

Posted by RubyLynn on September 24, 2007

This year, I am for the first time ashamed to be a part of the Big 12. I mean, really, the Big East is doing better than we are! The Big East!!! Texas certainly isn’t doing much to help our image, and A&M’s loss to Miami isn’t doing us any favors. The only thing I can think of to fix the ticking time bomb is for the Big 12 schools to realize their superhuman genetic abilities. So in tribute to the premiere tonight, here’s a list of the Big 12 as Heroes.

Claire Bennett: Oklahoma. They have a few lackluster seasons, and then they come out of nowhere as contenders for the national title this year. I am not looking forward to facing the indestructible cheerleader this year.

Nikki/Jessica Sanders: Texas Tech. You never know which team you’re going to get. Will they be a wimpering Nikki, or will Jessica throw you through a wall?

Peter Petrelli: Texas. So what, I’m biased. He’s totally got the coolest powers, and so do we.

Nathan Petrelli: Oklahoma State. Not even huge donations from questionable sources (Linderman=T. Boone) can stop this team from violently exploding.

Isaac Mendez: Baylor. Always looking to the future, because the present is just too difficult to handle.

Micah Sanders: Texas A&M. They actually have a pretty cool power and lots of potential, but instead of actually doing something with it they’d rather just whine and cry for mommy.

DL Hawkins: Nebraska. They must be DL, because Ball State ran right through them.

Mohinder Suresh: Iowa State. They don’t have any powers to speak of, and instead just wander around wondering what this mystery of “football” is all about.

Matt Parkman: Missouri. After failing the past several seasons (maybe due to football dyslexia), now they can hear what your Offense is thinking, and they shut you down like the FBI.

Hiro Nakamura: Colorado. Every Colorado fan spends their time back in 1990 when the Buffaloes were good.

The Haitian: Kansas. We’re not really sure what they’re doing, but they’re making their opponents forget how to play football.

Ted Sprague: Kansas State. Not doing too badly, but they’ll eventually self-destruct and bring everyone else down with them.

Sylar: USC. Okay, they’re not in the Big 12. But really, USC recruits all over the nation, sucking the talent away from other programs. Pete Carroll is trying to take over the world, and we must band together to beat Sylar.

Posted in Big 12, themaskedwino, tv shows we love | 2 Comments »

It’s business, It’s business time

Posted by RubyLynn on September 12, 2007

I know what you’re trying to say. You’re trying to say it’s time for business.

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Ali Larter. Really no other reason except she’s gorgeous… and we’re REALLY excited for Heroes to come back.

 

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Continuing our Heroes theme, Sendhil Ramamurthy. We may not be able to pronounce his name correctly, but we don’t really care. He’s dreamy, especially with that accent.

Posted in Business Time, themaskedwino, tv shows we love | Leave a Comment »