Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for the ‘Texas A&M’ Category

I’m REALLY Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 5, 6, 7…

Posted by TxHny on November 20, 2007

As Ron pointed out, I sort of fell off the wagon. I am very glad I am a Longhorn, just a busy Longhorn.
In an effort to makeup for missed time over the weekend, I offer the following collection:

LONGHORN LOVE

tower.jpg texas-honeys.jpg
Beautiful Campus… Great Fans…

AND AGGIE LOATHING

12th Man Entertainment @ TexAgs

yell-leaders.jpg cheer2.jpg
Ice Cream Men… Ironic Merchandise…

And to top it all off, I’ll request a little help from you. Yes, yes, it is a caption contest. I’ll get you started. Prize to be determined by your location. ๐Ÿ™‚

captioncontest.jpg
“Why can’t you be more like Jamaal Charles?”

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 5 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 4

Posted by TxHny on November 15, 2007

Alright, alright. I’ll relent… temporarily. My oldest friend in the world is an Aggie, I have an Aggie family member and many, many friends and colleagues from Texas A&M. As Thanksgiving is one week away (celebrating today at the firm), I’ll put it on the record – I’m thankful for Aggies.

I look forward to the Friday game each year and it is in fact, now tightly associated with my family holiday traditions. Furthermore, I’m glad we have a rivalry with a gang that relates to so many things we adore here at Texas: southern hospitality, tradition (in whatever way you define it), football, discipline, world class institutions of higher learning andย  a (perhaps slightly unhealthy) love for the greatest state in the land.

Aggies, deep down I know you feel the same way.

gigem_horns.jpg

Tomorrow, we’ll do a defensive rundown on our Lonestar rivals, and the ridicule will resume.

Posted in Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 3

Posted by TxHny on November 14, 2007

Aggie Jokes are like bellybuttons – everyone has one. Here are a few of my favorites – add yours in the comments – or if you dare, give us your best shot back!

 

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey bartender, I know a great Aggie joke. You want to hear it?” The bartender says, “Well, before you tell it I should probably tell you that I went to A&M. And you see those two big guys sitting next to you — they were linebackers for the A&M football team. And those two guys on your other side — they’re Marines, and they used to be in the Corps of Cadets at A&M. Now, are you sure you really want to tell that Aggie joke?” The guy thinks for a second. “I guess not,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”

 

An Aggie student is doing an experiment with a frog. He wants to see how far the frog jumps each time he cuts off a eg. The Aggie student cuts off one of the frogs legs and says, “Jump froggy.” He records in his notebook, “Froggy with three legs jumps one foot.” He cuts off a second leg and says, “Jump froggy.” In his notebook he writes, “Froggy with two legs jumps six inches.” He cuts off its third leg and says, “Jump froggy.” He writes down in his notebook, “Froggy with one leg jumps 3 inches.” Then he cuts off its last leg and says, “Jump froggy.” The frog just sits there. The Aggie says again, “Jump froggy!” but the frog just sits there. Finally, he writes in his
notebook, “Froggy with no legs can’t hear.”

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the A&M campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.

 

How can you tell an Aggie is on location at a drilling rig?
He’s the one throwing bread to the helicopters.

There was a group of Aggie science students that wanted to send a probe to the sun, but some UT students said that was impossible and that the probe would burn up long before reaching the sun. The Aggies replied that they planned to send the probe at night.

 

A Longhorn, a Techster and an Aggie went into a bar for a drink. The longhorn tells the bartender, I’ll have a TC. The bartender says ”what’s that?” . The Longhorn says ”you know, a Tom Collins.” The Techster says ”I’ll have a PC.” The bartender says ”what’s that?” The Techster says “a Pina Colida.” The Aggie says “I’ll have a 15.” The bartender says ”what’s that?” The aggie says “you know — seven & seven”.

Aggie 1: Did you hear the good news? Scientists discovered that Mad Cow Disease is not able to be sexually transmitted.
Aggie 2: What a relief!

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 6 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 2

Posted by TxHny on November 13, 2007

You know I love numbered lists. I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn, let me count the ways.

1. No Overalls. No Ugly T-Shirts. Oh, and no overalls. Really?! OVERALLS? We have burnt orange to work with – and we make it look good. You have MAROON – you can’t do anything better with maroon?!

aggie-overalls.jpg

2. We have a “rivalry” with many schools – everyone likes to beat Texas (we’re kind of the yard stick, you know what I mean?) However, I’m happy to say there is no penis envy lurking around Austin. Last week the Aggies sang about beating Texas, wore anti-Texas shirts and did the horns down. Texas on the other hand was focused on beating Texas Tech and completely unconcerned at all with Texas A&M.

3. Cool merchandise. Yes. These are raggedy Aggies. Really. Really?
raggedy_aggies.jpg

4. No pretending, homoeroticism. Which would you rather?
corps.jpg or lhb.jpg

yell-leaders.gif or texas-cheer.jpg
Even Aggies prefer Texas cheer

5. At Texas nobody uses the word “tradition” to justify many, many inexplicable acts.

6. The most revered entity on our campus is not Lassie.

7. Nothing as comical/disgraceful as this: http://www.texags.com/main/forum.main.asp

8. 73-35-5

9. 47 National Championships in 11 sports

10. What Starts Here Changes The World.

Posted in like - school spirit!, Meet The Opponent, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 5 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 1

Posted by TxHny on November 12, 2007

We have a full two weeks to properly prepare ourselves for our annual showdown with our sheepish friends in College Station. Expect some in depth breakdown later in the week. Until then I provide this for your viewing…uh…pleasure.

Man of the House was pretty bad, but this makes me feel much, much better about it. (I was an extra in Man of the House, btw. I’m wearing the Letter I in Fight. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 6 Comments »

Ding Dong….

Posted by TxHny on November 5, 2007

http://cbs.sportsline.com/collegefootball/story/10453939

franchione.JPG
Goodbye Fran…

We’ll miss you,

Longhorn Fans.

Posted in Texas A&M, txhny | Leave a Comment »

Want a Slice?

Posted by TxHny on November 2, 2007

I’ve recently made the argument to friends, colleagues and anyone else that will stand around while I yammer that Texas, Texas A&M and OU cannot all be good at the same time. And like most, I’m sure right now you are saying, “Txhny, but what about the game in ____, when ____ and ____ were both in the top 10 and….” Yeah, I know. I also hear your argument, “but Texas is soooo big. There are so many great players – isn’t there enough to go around?” No. There isn’t. There are only a few dynamite players per year — Vince Young, Adrian Peterson, Cedric Benson, Jamaal Charles, etc. etc.

My point is simple: Texas is awesome and everyone would like some of the sugary Texas pie. However, no matter how tasty and talented, there is only so much to go around. Let me explain.

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Pie a la tacklin’ fuel.

I salute Texas High School football programs (prioritized right above TAKS scores), coaches, robustly funded athletic programs and all the teachers who fudge grades for the greater good of footballdom.

greatergood.jpg
The greater good.

Their work produces finely tuned athletes for both college and professional football, and now with an even butterier crust! And who vies for the largest slices? Texas, Texas A&M and OU. One major talent base, three programs seeking to be a power-house. Whoever gets the biggest slice wins.

“Txhny, you are seriously off your rocker. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You can’t just pull whatever you want out of your cute white shiny ass and call it logic.”

And you’re right. Gentlemen, I give you numbers, statistics, fancy charts and several hours of my time cursing at Excel.

The method of my madness: Several weeks ago, billyzane of BON fame did an analysis of games 2001-2006 to determine which factors are the best predictors of success in college football games. This article and his other Football by the Numbers pieces are outstanding. You can read this particular one here. To make my point clear, I took the predictors of success identified by billyzane, and then did comparison charts with numbers from Texas, Texas A&M and OU over the span of 9 years. We’re in “year 10” and I’ll do another post or two with predictions and then a final sum up.

rivals-recruiting-rank.gif
(You’ll have to click to see it big, but you can get the gist. Red: OU, Orange: TX, Maroon: TAMU)

This particular factor was not listed by billyzane. And if you hate Rivals – please feel free to take it up with them. This is just what I used as a sort of overall indicator. As you can clearly see, Texas is opposite of OU and Texas A&M.

Next, let’s look at total wins per season. Okay, this is also not a billyzane predictor – but again – just another overall success indicator. What do we care about? Wins! Bowl Games! image002.gif
In particular, look at years 2000, 2003 and 2005. In 2000, OU won the national championship and in 2005, Vince Young won. After 2000, OU sort of evens out. Championships win recruits. Texas was also on the upswing. At this point we see Texas A&M make a pretty significant dip. After 2003, the OU dip in wins coincides with a slight upswing at Texas A&M. (And yes, I realize that this relationship is perhaps affected by the fact that they are all in the Big 12 South. I’m not saying this is perfect, I’m saying it is interesting.)

And on to predictors of success, as defined by billyzane. First up, Net Rush Offense. This chart is actually a bit surprising.image003.gif
It shouldn’t be a huge shock to you that large numbers of rush yards equals success. However, I find it really interesting that in this particular subject all three tend the same. And please note the Cedric Benson/Vince Young factor in 200-2005. Also note the steeeeep drop back to reality in 2006. (A little Texas bragging — in 2004 Ced had 1800 rushing yards by himself, almost as many as Texas A&M had as an entire team.)

Next, let’s look at total offensive yards. Again, shouldn’t be a shocker that this is a big indicator of success. Yards = TDs = wins. image004.gif
Again, look at the areas of huge upswing – OU in 1998, 2001-2003, Texas in 2003-2005. Those are areas of big success for those programs. And they coincide with a big drop for someone else.

First Downs per season is also another good indicator of success. Keep in mind on all of these charts, that the year after is likely quite influenced by the year before.image006.gif

This is a nice chart to illustrate my point.
image007.gif
I couldn’t find statistics for OU in this category – so we’ll this is simplified by comparing only Texas and texas A&M. One goes up, the other comes down.

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And total pass offense. Not as in line as the rush offense, but expected since there was a disparity in total offence. However, notice the high peaks and the low peaks.

Anyway – perhaps this doesn’t solidly reinforce my point – but I think it is food for thought. I’m working on getting some other stats as far as number of Texas players per season and working some of that up.

Any approval or dissent regarding the above, discuss in the comments.

-txhny

Posted in Big 12, game observations, meat and taters, Oklahoma, random babble, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »

The Big XII Roundtable: Thick of the Season

Posted by TxHny on October 17, 2007

Hmm. The thick of the season feels pretty thin here in Austin. First we went 0-4 in conference (0-2 this year), and then a good trouncing of a weak Iowa State. Up next – we face a powerhouse Baylor team, QB concussion and all. Note my sarcasm.

This week’s roundtable hosted over at Midwest Coast Bias. Head over there to check out the rest of the Big XII blogger responses.

1. If you could steal another coach at any level (head, assistant, etc.) from another school, who would it be and why?

Major Applewhite, Offensive Coordinator. This selection needs no explanation. In order for you to understand how I feel about it, I offer the following other scenarios that would make me equally euphorically happy for comparison:

The Houston Texans vs. The Dallas Cowboys in Superbowl XLV in Arlington, Texas.

The Dallas Cowboys announce new QB: Vince Young

The latest nutritional research suggests that eating ice cream once a week, coupled with 6-10 beers in a single sitting leads to a significantly reduced risk of Alzheimer’s, heart disease and varicose veins. (My greatest fear. Old lady legs are scarier than clowns, Jerry Jones, or Bob Stoops naked.)

Aaron Watson leaves cute wife for female sports blogger. The new couple recently purchased box seats at Darrell K. Royal Stadium in close enough proximity to make fun of Matthew McConaughey.

The only difference: Major Applewhite as Longhorn OC is a real possibility.

2. What two teams will play for the Big XII Championship and why?

I’d really hate to see a Missouri – OU rematch, but that’s where I’d put my money. If it were not “the year of upsets,” I’d say Oklahoma has it pretty easy the rest of the season, particularly with the Aggies’ loss to Tech last weekend. I’m less sure about the north, but I’d give Kansas a shot as well. I think it is still much too early to tell.

3. What is the best bowl game your team has a realistic shot at and, if your team has a shot, who would you like to play in said bowl?

Both San Diego and San Antonio are lovely that time of year….

Let’s just say it’s been a character building year for spoiled Longhorn fans.

4. If given the opportunity, would you keep the Big XII status quo or kick out a team and go to a Big 10-style conference play?

I like playing Baylor – and while people make a case against them as far as contending with the “Big Boys” I think Baylor does a nice job of keeping us all honest. Hmm.. I recall a particular Aggie-Baylor game… but that isn’t what this is about is it?

If we give someone the boot, I’d like to add a team rather than go to the Big 10 style. Say TCU??

5. Rank the Big XII teams

1. Oklahoma
2. Missouri
3. Texas
4. Kansas
5. Texas Tech
6. Kansas State
7. Colorado
8. Oklahoma State
9. Texas A&M
10. Nebraska
11. Iowa State
12. Baylor

Posted in Big 12, Oklahoma, Roundtables, TCU, Texas A&M, txhny | Leave a Comment »

Nothing Helps.

Posted by RubyLynn on October 1, 2007

Not even this, or this, or even this makes it better.crying-ou-boy-screenshot.jpg
Not even this mini toothless varmint’s tears make me happy.

Posted in Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, themaskedwino, toothless varmints | 5 Comments »

Big XII Roundtable – State of the Conference Address

Posted by TxHny on September 28, 2007

This week the Bix XII Roundtable hosted over at Crimson and Cream Machine returns. I’ve been frankly quite busy with work, so I’ve let my good friend write the post for me. He’s a little media shy so we’ll just call him “G. W.” to protect his personal privacy. Privacy is very important to G. W. (*Cough* *cough – wheeze* Patriot Act *cough*. You’ll have to excuse me, my allergies are killing me. Damn ragweed. *Sneeze*)

The Big 12 conference has only four unbeaten teams left and has endured numerous embarrassing performances on television. State where you believe the Big 12 ranks among the BCS conferences.

“What are you talking about? Of course the Big XII is the best conference in the world. What? You think the SEC, the Big East, or pff the Pac 10 can mess with us? Don’t mess with Texas. You fool me once well, shame on you. Fool me twice, and you aren’t going to fool me twice. Ya got that? Heh, heh, heh.”

What has been the conference’s best victory and worst defeat so far this season?

“What we need to discuss is the battle at hand: terrorists! We have to devote all possible resources and manpower to taking out these ‘ax-eeze’ of power. We’ve got the terrorists on the run. We’re keeping them on the run. One by one the terrorists are learning the meaning of Longhorn justice.”

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The Kingpin, Enemy #1

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Frandullah, Enemy #2

“Our worst defeat to date, is the loss of Oklahoma State against the City of Troy. I saw 300, and those guys are some bad sons-a-bitches. You see, the… thing is what they need to do is get over to Norman, to get Stoops-bollah to stop doing this shit and it’s over.”

Conference Power Rankings. The best part of the roundtable is voicing how we believe the conference teams rank each week, from top to bottom. So, go ahead, let us know who’s up and who’s down in your book this week.

  1. Oklahoma
  2. Dick Cheney
  3. Texas
  4. Missouri
  5. Nebraska
  6. Kansas
  7. Texas Tech
  8. Kansas State
  9. Oklahoma State
  10. Texas A&M
  11. Baylor
  12. Colorado
  13. Iowa State

There you have it. You may have noticed that there are a few questions missing. G. W. has been known to dance around topics that may upset particular constituents every now and then. Nobody really questions him and you shouldn’t either. I hear his friend Richard backs him up (and that guy eats glass shards and pickled baby feet for breakfast).

Posted in Big 12, blog love, Dick Cheney is a bad motha - shut yo mouth!, empty promises, Oklahoma, Roundtables, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »