Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for the ‘scheduling’ Category

Arkansas State, Be Warned: This May Get Ugly

Posted by TxHny on August 31, 2007

> ** Avoid: Robert Killebrew, Lokey and Okam, Brandon Foster
> ** Beware: Jamaal Charles, Limas Sweed, Quan Cosby, Colt McCoy
> ** More Info:

If only scheduling Texas actually came with such a warning.

In any event, gameday is finally here and we’re just as excited as when we almost got an autographed Vince Young jersey for $70 on Craigslist. (Damn scam artists hippies!)

Even though nary a Texas fan is really worried about this game from a win-loss perspective, let’s consider what the Arkansas State Indi….uh… well, we’ll get to that… are bringing to DKR tomorrow. (It feels so good to type that.)

The NCAA has banned certain logos, mascots and trademarks affecting the Arkansas State Indians. As the University considers choices for the new mascot, we will refer to them as the Arkansas State Piglets. Afterall, they are the benign kid sister of the team we all know and loathe: the Arkansas Razorbacks.

Tigger: I sure like bouncing. Wasn’t that fun, Piglet?
Piglet: Y-yes, but the best part is when it stops.

The Piglets have favored the rush in the past, out rushing their opponents by about 300 yards overall in 2006, the most impressive numbers put up by RB Reggie Arnold. They average 4.6 yards per attempt on the rush, which isn’t too shabby.

The passing game is a mixed bag, despite expected improvement this year from Corey Leonard. He was right at 50% last year and threw for 1,321 yards. He hit receivers Jones, Dejohnette and Higgins for 8 TDs, but also threw a painful 8 interceptions. (However, after Miss. State racked up 6 INTs last night this looks comparatively better.)

Special teams leaves much to be desired and another thorn in the side of the Piglets is going to be penalties and turnovers. In addition Leonard’s interceptions, there were 15 fumbles in 2006 and about 50 yards per game in penalties. If Arkansas State wants to at least appear competitive, they will need to avoid these mistakes.

While some of the numbers look encouraging, even a conservative (which we will be) Texas is going to absolutely dominate.

A couple of writers over at the Statesman had a particularly… um…enlightening? No? Okay….. take on this weeks Longhorn debut.

Oh and we have it on good authority that Colt does indeed walk on water. Credit: All those calf raises he did over the summer.

“Ohh, it’s the deep burn. Oh, it’s so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my leg ’cause I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.”



Posted in meat and taters, Meet The Opponent, politically correct, scheduling | Leave a Comment »

Pay Per View?!

Posted by TxHny on August 31, 2007

While two of your authors will most certainly be at the game, we’re appalled the remainder of the 23 million Texans (not to mention Texas alums out of state) will have to shell out 30 bucks to catch the season opener. (And before the fans from other Texas universities chime in, you know you watch Texas games. Keep your enemies close, right?) The good points of this plan include retaining both arms and legs as a result of not purchasing season tickets, simultaneous beverage consumption with game watching and potentially avoiding contact with any Arkansas fans (which did not go well for me personally in 2004) — we can hardly believe someone hasn’t done something. Now I ask you, WWLD? (What Would Ladybird Do?) She’d have gotten us the game on network television. Rules, my friend, do not apply to Ladybird Johnson.

WWLD? Not put up with PPV.

Since there is in fact nothing we can do about the Pay Per View situation, you have one of three options:

1) Shell out the 30 bucks, call some friends and neighbors over and try this or this. And of course, have some Skinny Dip.

Advisable. You’ll still get to see Charles singe the grass as he blazes down the field and provided you don’t live in Oklahoma, you probably have air conditioning and will be out of the rain. Plus, you can’t have a beer in DKR.

2) Watch the game at a kickass bar like Third Base (6th&Mopac) and spend that 30 bucks on beer. Casual enough that you don’t feel odd in your Texas T-shirt, but classy enough that the floor doesn’t contain “bar sludge.” Perks: a couple of pool tables, shuffleboard, and excellent staff.

Also advisable. Make some instant friends out of strangers, and you’ll be able to catch the rest of college cupcake games on the various screens.

3) Just miss the first week of college football. You know, catch up on some reading. Clean out the fridge. Play a little Xbox.

And be dead to us.

Posted in bars clubs and other hangouts where we drink too much, corporate whores, scheduling, txhny | Leave a Comment »