Gabriel's Horn

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Big 12 Roundtable Round Up

Posted by TxHny on November 9, 2007

 

Thanks to everyone for participating, good thoughts all around.

1. With only two or three games left, how are you feeling about your season? Disappointed, elated, surprised, a little violated?

I can relate to PB over at BON, and I’m not sure what girls kissing had to do with it, but right on. 🙂

Exhausted. I feel like I just got through a six hour sex-a-fight with my girlfriend. Lots of fighting, with pauses now and again to have wild make up sex. Rinse, repeat.

I also really enjoyed the optimism from Clone Chronicles. I’m still mad at you for taking our DC. Particularly as the flaws in our pass defense will be painfully exposed this weekend.

As strange as it may sound to opposing fans, I really do feel excited. We bottomed out against Texas, but ever since, we really have been playing on a different level. Playing neck-and-neck with two top ten teams in OU and Mizzou, then our biggest win in two years over Kansas State. It’s a beautiful thing knowing that the player’s are buying into Gene Chizik’s system. We have a very winnable game on Saturday against Colorado, and I don’t expect us to just lay down for KU.

And perhaps the best summation comes from CornNation. I think most Husker fans are with you. When Nebraska was in town, we saw Husker fans walking around with T-shirts that said “The Callahan Farewell Tour.” It had this seasons schedule, with the scores from all the games. Ice cold.

Disappointment is when you fumble a ball on a 3rd and 2 play and let Texas come back to beat you at home. It’s when your star receiver fumbles a ball on the first play of the Big 12 Championship game and spots Oklahoma a 7-0 lead. No, this season isn’t disappointing. This season is embarrassing. It’s humiliating.

2. I have to ask, how do you feel about the (possible) buyout of Fran at Texas A&M?

Sounds like most of Big 12 either A) couldn’t care less or B) thinks Fran is the key to keeping Texas A&M as a Mediocre team.

CornNation agrees with Brad at the 12thmanchild in that the insider’s newsletter was the breaking point.

He broke the number one rule of staying employed. If things are going badly, don’t give them an excuse to get rid of you. I never saw the greatness that others did in Franchione before he got to A&M, but the stunt he pulled with the insider’s newsletter was the mark of a fool.

Rock M Nation relates Aggies sentiments.

As long as he’s around long enough to keep the ball out of J-Train’s hands this weekend like he’s done all year, I’m absolutely fine with it. But, also, as the brother of an Aggie and the son of an Alabama alum, I know the rest of my family is ready to see him walk out the door with his tail between his legs. Even if each leg is worth $1 million per year in buyout terms.

Harsh words from Bring on the Cats. Harsh words, but kinda true.

I will never feel sorry for any of the big-money (Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma, Nebraska) programs in the Big 12. Ever. They get themselves into situations like this, and I feel it’s my duty to laugh at them when it happens. Go ahead, Aggies. Throw money at the situation, and hope to God it gets better. A great reminder to every arrogant fan of a big-money program that you’re only one bad head coach from suckage. Oklahoma learned that in the 1990s, as did Texas. Nebraska has learned its lesson now. And A&M is perfecting the technique.

3. We’ve picked coaches, players, stadiums and everything else from other teams. Now, we get down to something even more near and dear: mascots. If you could pick another Big 12 mascot other than your own – who would it be and why?

The Big 12 favorite – Raphie from Colorado (picked by Husker Mike, CornNation and Bring on the Cats).

The runner up? The Texas Tech Red Raider(picked by BON and CCM). Who doesn’t like zoro?

Other votes came in for Pistol Pete and Bevo.

4. Unexpected Greatness, Unexpected Suckage. Who surprised you this year? Who did you get really excited about, only to be let down? (The first Roundtable asked who was the face of the franchise – do you still feel that way?)

I have to agree with BON, Sergio Kindle is an animal.

Do not fuck with Sergio Kindle.

And I also agree, unfortunatly, with CCM. Damn it. I was really hoping that the Bomar fiasco was going to be the beginning of a QB nightmare for the Sooners. Damn. Damn. Damn.

There hasn’t been a bigger surprise at OU this season than the quality of play that Sam Bradford is giving the Sooners. He has now become the “face of the franchise” at OU rising from obsqurity to national recognition.

Even more agreement with MidWest Coast Bias. The Sam Keller story womps.

I was very excited about Sam Keller and Marlon Lucky. Sam did about as well as a one year transfer would normally be expected to, but he played within the system fairly well and, with more time, I felt could’ve been something special in the offense. I still feel badly about the way his career ended and probably always will. Marlon continues to prove doubters in his own camp wrong.

I was expecting a bit more from Bo Ruud this year. I thought perhaps the preseason magazines saw something that I didn’t. It just didn’t seem that Ruud had the explosion, the aggression and the passion that I expected from a senior let alone a captain. Then again, I haven’t seen that from a few guys on Saturday in red.

A little more disappointment from the Nebraska camp at Husker Mike’s Blasphemy.

Well, Ndamakong Suh probably needs to be on a milk carton as he’s practically disappeared. Heck…last week, FSN couldn’t even get his number right. And Nebraska’s entire linebacker corp has proven to be a huge disappointment.

5. I told you there would be booze. Characterize your team by the beverage of your choice.

I was a little surprised that there were no-drinking sports bloggers. Don’t worry, the Masked Wino and I drink your share. For the rest of us, it appears there is a reason football and drinking go hand-in-hand.

Clone Chronicles

Straight vodka. You know that it’s not going to down easy, and that enough of it will probably make you puke, but you keep coming back. After a while, the horrible taste wears away and you start to feel warm and more self confident. You know you shouldn’t overindulge and become too attached, but you usually do, and before you know it, you’re crying and puking at the same time.

Husker Mike

We’re those little bottles of booze on an airplane. You hand over your money, and you get this little sip (Nevada). Then you spend the rest of the flight (season) realizing you got screwed royally.

However, the prize goes to Bring On The Cats

I will characterize K-State as wine in a liquor store. Not any specific kind of wine, just wine. You see, I hate wine. I never drink it unless I absolutely have to. I wouldn’t know a good bottle of wine if its cork popped out and hit me in the nuts. So, I am likely to be about as consistent about choosing a good bottle of wine from the hundreds of bottles at the liquor store as K-State is likely to consistently play well this year. Sometimes I’ll make a home-run decision and pick a bottle of win that rocks my socks (analogous to: Texas game, Colorado game), and sometimes I’ll pick something that tastes like it was strained through a Frenchman’s sweaty socks (analogous to: Oklahoma State, Iowa State, Baylor first half).

Lightning Round

– BIG 12 Loves

Jamaal Charles, Sam Bradford, Jordy Nelson, Chase Daniels, Jorvorskie Lane, Michael Crabtree, Frandullah, Marlon Lucky, Steve Octavien, Zack Bowman, Seth Jensen, Kansas Jayhawks, Cortney Grixby, Nate Swift, Maurice Purify, Ndamukong Suh, Marcus Watts, Rushing Attacks, and “I’m a man! I’m forty!”

– BIG 12 Disses

Texas Tech, Colorado, Stephen McGee, Mike Gundy, Baylor, Steve Pederson, Bill Callahan, Kevin Cosgrove, Mike Gundy, Dennis Franchione, Mike Gundy, Gary Pinkel, Dantrell Savage, Aggie receivers, Chris Harrington, Mark Dodge, DeMarco Murray, Malcolm Kelly, Curtis Lofton, Gerald McCoy, Iowa State, Nebraska, Texas and OSU.

– Pick ‘em Consensus (and Dissent)

Colorado @ Iowa state – Colorado (4)
Texas A&M @ Mizzou – Mizzou (0)
KState @ Nebraska – KState (2)
TCEH @ Texas – Texas (1)
Baylor @ Oklahoma – Oklahoma (0)
Kansas @ Okay State – Kansas (3)

– Rank ‘em Consensus.

1. Kansas
2. Oklahoma
3. Mizzouri
4. Texas
5. Oklahoma State
6. Texas Tech
7. Kansas State
8. Texas A&M
9. Colorado
10. Iowa State
11. Nebraska
12. Baylor

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Posted in Big 12, Roundtables, txhny | Leave a Comment »

Big 12 Roundtable – The End is Near

Posted by TxHny on November 7, 2007

We’re hosting the party this week, so hold on to your livers. Thanks to Crimson and Cream Machine for getting this going.

1. With only two or three games left, how are you feeling about your season? Disappointed, elated, surprised, a little violated?

Much like Dick Cheney, I feel nothing. Wins are wins, and we are after all 8-2, and I should be really excited about that. Don’t get me wrong, the last couple of games were exciting – but I feel like just when we’re getting revved up, the season is almost over. I’m not disappointed or elated. I’m just… sigh….

Oh, and yes, I’m still feeling very violated by Kansas State. Ouch! If only we would have employed the Bobby Hill method…


That’s my purse!!!!

2. I have to ask, how do you feel about the (possible) buyout of Fran at Texas A&M?

As much as we kid about him being Frandullah, I’m a little disappointed that this is playing out so publicly. I think what will come is pretty obvious, (check out this for a little elaboration…) and much to the delight of many Aggies. As much as I love beating the Aggs, I think this little drama spells disaster for Texas A&M’s final games.

3. We’ve picked coaches, players, stadiums and everything else from other teams. Now, we get down to something even more near and dear: mascots. If you could pick another Big 12 mascot other than your own – who would it be and why?

Mizzou Tigers, hands down.

mizzouri-tiger.jpg
You want a piece of me?

4. Unexpected Greatness, Unexpected Suckage. Who surprised you this year? Who did you get really excited about, only to be let down? (The first Roundtable asked who was the face of the franchise – do you still feel that way?)

I have to say I’ve been really impressed with Nate Jones. At least in my book, that guy came out of nowhere. Also, you’ve heard this before, but I’m really impressed with Deon Beasley’s growth.

As far as suckage, losing Sweed was a big disappointment. And until a week or two ago, I felt Jamaal Charles wasn’t really being utilized to his full potential. (Dahorns and I can’t decide if there was method to this or not, but that’s for another date.) I really wanted our offense to open up and see some of that explosive playing – but I feel like we didn’t really get ourselves in gear until Nebraska. That’s way too late in the season if you ask me.

5. I told you there would be booze. Characterize your team by the beverage of your choice.

Long Island Ice Tea. We’ve got everything – offense, defense, bad-A coaches and a splash of triple sec for that Orange flavor we need. And you can call us fruity or girly if you want, but if you aren’t careful we will knock you flat on your ass.

Lightning Round – worth double the points (which will still work out to zero…), and twice the fun!

– Love ’em.

Jamaal Charles – You are a beast.
Sam Bradford – Why are you so good? Stop, please. Thanks.

– Diss ’em.

Texas Tech – you’re going down!! You’re run defense is teh suxxors. Jamaal Charles will pwn you.

– Pick ’em.

Colorado @ Iowa state – CU
Texas A&M @ Mizzou – Mizzou
KState @ Nebraska – KState
TCEH @ Texas – Texas wins!!!!
Baylor @ Oklahoma – OU
Kansas @ Okay State – Kansas

– Rank ’em.

1. Kansas
2. Oklahoma
3. Mizzouri
4. Texas
5. KState
6. Okay State
7. TCEH
8. A&M
9. Colorado
10. Nebraska
11. Iowa State
12. Baylor

Posted in Big 12, blog love, Roundtables, Texas, txhny | 14 Comments »

The Big XII Roundtable: Thick of the Season

Posted by TxHny on October 17, 2007

Hmm. The thick of the season feels pretty thin here in Austin. First we went 0-4 in conference (0-2 this year), and then a good trouncing of a weak Iowa State. Up next – we face a powerhouse Baylor team, QB concussion and all. Note my sarcasm.

This week’s roundtable hosted over at Midwest Coast Bias. Head over there to check out the rest of the Big XII blogger responses.

1. If you could steal another coach at any level (head, assistant, etc.) from another school, who would it be and why?

Major Applewhite, Offensive Coordinator. This selection needs no explanation. In order for you to understand how I feel about it, I offer the following other scenarios that would make me equally euphorically happy for comparison:

The Houston Texans vs. The Dallas Cowboys in Superbowl XLV in Arlington, Texas.

The Dallas Cowboys announce new QB: Vince Young

The latest nutritional research suggests that eating ice cream once a week, coupled with 6-10 beers in a single sitting leads to a significantly reduced risk of Alzheimer’s, heart disease and varicose veins. (My greatest fear. Old lady legs are scarier than clowns, Jerry Jones, or Bob Stoops naked.)

Aaron Watson leaves cute wife for female sports blogger. The new couple recently purchased box seats at Darrell K. Royal Stadium in close enough proximity to make fun of Matthew McConaughey.

The only difference: Major Applewhite as Longhorn OC is a real possibility.

2. What two teams will play for the Big XII Championship and why?

I’d really hate to see a Missouri – OU rematch, but that’s where I’d put my money. If it were not “the year of upsets,” I’d say Oklahoma has it pretty easy the rest of the season, particularly with the Aggies’ loss to Tech last weekend. I’m less sure about the north, but I’d give Kansas a shot as well. I think it is still much too early to tell.

3. What is the best bowl game your team has a realistic shot at and, if your team has a shot, who would you like to play in said bowl?

Both San Diego and San Antonio are lovely that time of year….

Let’s just say it’s been a character building year for spoiled Longhorn fans.

4. If given the opportunity, would you keep the Big XII status quo or kick out a team and go to a Big 10-style conference play?

I like playing Baylor – and while people make a case against them as far as contending with the “Big Boys” I think Baylor does a nice job of keeping us all honest. Hmm.. I recall a particular Aggie-Baylor game… but that isn’t what this is about is it?

If we give someone the boot, I’d like to add a team rather than go to the Big 10 style. Say TCU??

5. Rank the Big XII teams

1. Oklahoma
2. Missouri
3. Texas
4. Kansas
5. Texas Tech
6. Kansas State
7. Colorado
8. Oklahoma State
9. Texas A&M
10. Nebraska
11. Iowa State
12. Baylor

Posted in Big 12, Oklahoma, Roundtables, TCU, Texas A&M, txhny | Leave a Comment »

Big XII Roundtable: The Aftermath

Posted by TxHny on October 10, 2007

This week’s roundtable is hosted by Bring on the Cats. Head over to check out the rest of the Big 12 blogger responses.

1. Some teams are coming off a big win or wins (Oklahoma, Colorado, KU, Texas Tech, Texas A&M, Missouri), while others are dealing with the sting of a tough loss or losses (K-State, Texas, Nebraska, Baylor, Iowa State, Oklahoma State). Tell us where your team is headed in the wake of the first two weeks of conference play.

I know you never thought you’d hear me say this after two conference losses (actually, 4 in a row, but who’s counting?) but I’m oddly comfortable with Texas. Sure, we can talk about our troubles, but I don’t think any of them mean you can count the Horns out. (Well. Unless your talking about National Championships or Big XII titles….) We lost the OU game, but it was the first time this season I’ve really been satisfied with our performance. Up next is Iowa State and Baylor — which will be a nice break before Nebraska and Oklahoma State. Then we’ll face Texas Tech and Texas A&M.

The question is — will we win out? I think everyone knows we could. If I was a betting sort of gal (which I am), I’d say we still have one loss coming our way. That being said, I’m not sure if it will be Leach’s pirates, our sheepish friends in College Station or if the Huskers will serve up the loss.

2. Colorado and Texas A&M have emerged as unlikely conference leaders at 2-0 (give yourself a cookie if you predicted that), while preseason darlings Texas (0-2) and Nebraska (1-1 and not playing well) are floundering. Do the current leaders have the wherewithal to make it to San Antonio, or will somebody from elsewhere in the pack overtake them?

I think Texas A&M and Colorado have what it takes to get to San Antonio, but I don’t think they will. Oklahoma is still kind of a big deal. The Colorado game is what it is: an upset. I don’t believe it is an indicator that we should all start doing bows to Colorado or treating Oklahoma like they aren’t going to rip someone a new one given the opportunity. In the North, I wouldn’t count Nebraska and Mizzou out either.

Is Texas A&M the real deal? Eh, tough to say. They’ve only got one loss, and while it looked bad on TV, no shame in losing to Miami. However, they haven’t really beaten anyone significant. I think after this Saturday we’ll see how the Ags measure up. A loss this weekend will be tough because the Ags have a long season ahead.

Enough rambling:

North: Missouri
South: Oklahoma (Sucks).

3. A few weeks ago we did a ranking of the six BCS conferences, with most bloggers picking the Big 12 in the middle of the pack, which would be a big improvement over the last couple years. Have the middle and bottom teams of the conference improved significantly, or have the teams at the top declined significantly? Or is it something else?

“One thing is for sure, Texas is not the same team it was with Vince Young.” You can say that again.

K-State has come a long way, and I’m not just saying that because they beat us twice. Okay, really, I’m saying that because they beat us twice in a row. Even though Texas is not what it was, beating us twice in a row certainly isn’t something a lot of teams have done.

Colorado is markedly better. It was just an upset, but last years Buffs team couldn’t have pulled it against OU.

Missouri has a couple of impressive wins under its belt. Is this team good enough to carry the hype? I’d like to hope so.

Oklahoma State has lost a bit of its former steam. The team isn’t terrible, but I’ll wait before I start throwing around words like “improved”.

Texas Tech is the same ol’ Tech we know and love.

Texas A&M is currently featuring Fran’s last stand. If the Ags win 5 of 6 they’ll be the team Aggies have been desperately awaiting, if he loses 4, 5 or 6 of 6, this will be the straw that broke the sheep’s back and will clearly mark a low for Aggies.

4. Getting waaaaay ahead of ourselves: What if Missouri or KU goes undefeated and wins the Big 12 Championship Game? Would they get a shot at the national championship game?

No. And that is all I have to say about that.

5. Rank the conference teams

1. OU

2. Missouri

3. Nebraska

4. Texas

5. Kansas

6. Colorado

7. KState

8. Texas Tech

9. Texas A&M

10. Oklahoma State

11. Baylor

12. Iowa State

Posted in Big 12, meat and taters, Roundtables, txhny | 6 Comments »

Big XII Roundtable – State of the Conference Address

Posted by TxHny on September 28, 2007

This week the Bix XII Roundtable hosted over at Crimson and Cream Machine returns. I’ve been frankly quite busy with work, so I’ve let my good friend write the post for me. He’s a little media shy so we’ll just call him “G. W.” to protect his personal privacy. Privacy is very important to G. W. (*Cough* *cough – wheeze* Patriot Act *cough*. You’ll have to excuse me, my allergies are killing me. Damn ragweed. *Sneeze*)

The Big 12 conference has only four unbeaten teams left and has endured numerous embarrassing performances on television. State where you believe the Big 12 ranks among the BCS conferences.

“What are you talking about? Of course the Big XII is the best conference in the world. What? You think the SEC, the Big East, or pff the Pac 10 can mess with us? Don’t mess with Texas. You fool me once well, shame on you. Fool me twice, and you aren’t going to fool me twice. Ya got that? Heh, heh, heh.”

What has been the conference’s best victory and worst defeat so far this season?

“What we need to discuss is the battle at hand: terrorists! We have to devote all possible resources and manpower to taking out these ‘ax-eeze’ of power. We’ve got the terrorists on the run. We’re keeping them on the run. One by one the terrorists are learning the meaning of Longhorn justice.”

image_coachbobstoops.jpg
The Kingpin, Enemy #1

franchione.JPG
Frandullah, Enemy #2

“Our worst defeat to date, is the loss of Oklahoma State against the City of Troy. I saw 300, and those guys are some bad sons-a-bitches. You see, the… thing is what they need to do is get over to Norman, to get Stoops-bollah to stop doing this shit and it’s over.”

Conference Power Rankings. The best part of the roundtable is voicing how we believe the conference teams rank each week, from top to bottom. So, go ahead, let us know who’s up and who’s down in your book this week.

  1. Oklahoma
  2. Dick Cheney
  3. Texas
  4. Missouri
  5. Nebraska
  6. Kansas
  7. Texas Tech
  8. Kansas State
  9. Oklahoma State
  10. Texas A&M
  11. Baylor
  12. Colorado
  13. Iowa State

There you have it. You may have noticed that there are a few questions missing. G. W. has been known to dance around topics that may upset particular constituents every now and then. Nobody really questions him and you shouldn’t either. I hear his friend Richard backs him up (and that guy eats glass shards and pickled baby feet for breakfast).

Posted in Big 12, blog love, Dick Cheney is a bad motha - shut yo mouth!, empty promises, Oklahoma, Roundtables, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »

BlogPoll Roundtable – Story Lines Emerge

Posted by TxHny on September 20, 2007

You already have the eloquent, thoughtful responses from our host and fellow Longhorn blogger at BON. If that wasn’t enough (What is wrong with you?), you can read here for the not so eloquent, reasonably well thought out (over a nice post-work Shiner Blonde) answers from a fan of the female persuasion.

1. Handicap your team’s chances to win your conference championship. If your team is not the favorite, who is?

Everyday I have to put up with this smug Sooner co-worker. Normally his pitiful attempt to string sentences together (an exaggeration, he’s actually a fantastic attorney) do nothing but lay the foundation for the Longhorn smack I love to deliver. Lately, I have no retort. No, not even slights about crying children or getting Bomar’d do the trick. And while we’re discussing characters, story lines and the like, write this down: Oklahoma is the Juggernaut, bitch. If OU doesn’t take Big 12 , it is because A) UT is like, “j/k we’ll start playing for real now”or B) Mizzou pulls a fantastic upset.

Plus, if I can’t see Texas and LSU in a game (which I’m not ruling out yet!), I’d like to see Oklahoma and LSU. In addition to the wonderful things I love about Louisiana, I think it would be grand to see victory snatched from Stoopsy-poo twice by LSU. OU may be the Juggernaut, but I think LSU is in the end the better team

2. Outline the (realistic) best case and worst case scenarios for your team.

Best Case: In much the way Aggies wish for Fran, I wish our offensive play calling would continue to suck, we get our asses handed to us by K-State, again and then Ding! Dong! Greg Davis is dead. Or at least fired. Thanks for the help, friend, but don’t let the door hit ya on the way out. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Worst Case:
We pull three to five (seven?) more mediocre-performance wins, squeak by Nebraska and OU if God really did bless Texas, I’m hospitalized for heart failure, and we’re still not utilizing our talent or our size, we still think a handoff out of the shotgun is fooling anyone and Greg Davis remains on the coaching staff.


That isn’t very lady like. Or mature. Or any of the things I’d like to be. So I’ll put this on the record:

Best Case: Realistically? Texas obliterates Rice and Kansas State, with momentum beats the Sooners, and coasts through the end of the season. I say coast, not ignoring Nebraska, Texas Tech or Texas A&M. Coast in the way that we play these challenging opponents in an impressive way and use our strengths to win decisively (i.e., our new found amazing defense holds Graham Harrell to 200 yards passing, etc*). I agree that a BCS game is not out of reach, but I won’t be shocked if we end up out of the picture. Maybe this year I’ll actually spend the first part of the year with my family and celebrate my Mom’s birthday with her, rather than calling her completely wasted on my road trip.

Worst Case: We beat Rice by less than two TDs, lose to KState, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Texas Tech and Texas A&M. That will make us 7-5 at the end of conference play, with only one win to a then-ranked opponent: TCU. I’ll still be a longhorn fan, and I certainly won’t tear any testicles over it, but it will be one long and terrible off season.

*Sidenote: That kid has like 439 yds/game and 14TDs. Whoa.

3. We’re only three games in to the season, but teams and storylines are starting to take shape. Compare your team to a character or theme from a fable or children’s tale.

Come on?! The three little pigs?! How can I beat that? Sigh…. How about…

London bridge is falling down,
falling down, falling down,
London Bridge is falling down,
My fair Lady.

Or, slightly more creative…

Bobino, Dockery, dock,
We’re almost out of clock.
We barely won,
Our team’s is down
Hickory, dickory, dock.

Not optimistic enough for you?

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Catch a Sooner by the toe
If he hollers, its 4th and go!
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

Out goes one (TCU)
Out goes two (UCF)
Out goes another one (Texas A&M)
And that is you. (Fiesta Bowl!)

(And themaskedwino just got home from Happy Hour(s), and has offered the following. Verbatim.)

“WHeeee!!!!
Little Mister Mack Brown,
Sat on his… something,
Eating his BBQ…and beans,
Along came a Sooner
who tried to spoon her (him)
and frightened Mack Brown away

Wait…you can’t do away, because its ‘beans’….

Along game a Sooner
who tried to spoon her (him)
and so he called him a queen…s!”

little-miss-muffet-nursery-rhymes.jpglittle-miss-muffet-nursery-rhymes.jpg
Who buys this shit?

4. Imagine you’re the coach of your team. Give three specific changes you’d implement immediately which you think would have the biggest impact on improving the team.

1. Fire Greg Davis. Alright, last shot for this post. I’m just bitter. Can you blame me?

1. Experience clearly isn’t working so let’s get some fresh meat in there against Rice to get a few game time downs. We’ve got to get it together before we play OU.

2. Blocking, tackling, aggressive defensive play. We saw a little bit of this against TCU, but overall I’ve been unimpressed. Opponents that aren’t as strong and aren’t as big are breaking two, three, four tackles before we get them down or out. You think Justin Blalock or Derrick Johnson would stand for that? Or more, those big corn fed Huskers? Hell no, motha fu**a! Our blocking is abysmal. Jamaal Charles can run but often he’s out there without a blocker. Why? Why? Aggressive play. Man up. You heard me. Our team just doesn’t look fired up, they don’t look like they want it. I want to see some hits.

3. The screen is not the only option to do an outside run. The handoff from the shotgun isn’t surprising anyone. Let’s see some magic from the offense, okay?

5. USC, LSU/Florida, and Oklahoma have established themselves as the frontrunners in the early going. Which other team or teams are you eyeballing as potential BCS party crashers?

It is very early to make bowl predictions, but what the hell. I’ll admit I haven’t really looked at these folks upcoming schedules so these may be totally improbable- but these are teams, BCS worthy or not, that have certainly caught my eye.

Clemson, Boston College, Alabama, South Carolina and Oregon. The BCS party crashers are more likely Boston College and Oregon, but then again I would have put a grand on Michigan against App State if someone would have been willing. I think the bigger concern for me is not the who, but the what. Even if Texas isn’t one of the games, I’d really like to see some interesting bowl games (i.e. Boise/Oklahoma). I feel like every year I’m all psyched up about the bowl games and they are this huge let down. One team annihilates the other, as expected, or I get so annoyed with the culmination of crap that I’m tempted to watch the South Parks I have saved on my DVR.

Posted in Big 12, blog love, Get your act together dammit, meat and taters, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Roundtables, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »

Big 12 Roundtable : Getting Personal

Posted by TxHny on September 7, 2007

Horn of Gabriel, reppin’ Texas and Big 12 south since… a week or so ago. Lol.

1. What did you learn, if anything, about your team on opening weekend? More specifically, did you see anything that brought complete elation or utter disappointment?

We’ve got a long way to go, baby. Jamaal Charles was particularly impressive. Secondly, this isn’t the first or last time I’ll say it, Deon Beasley is special. (And also makes me a double homer, because he went to my high school.)

Our secondary was an utter disappointment as well as Colt’s performance. Everyone has an off game and this may be a case of unreasonable expectations. I’ll reserve any sincere complaints until this Sunday.

Also… sitting in the alumni section is way cool. Literally. It is in the shade.

2. 20 years from now, someone will ask you “Where Were You When Appalachian State beat Michigan?”. Describe what you were doing at the time, your reaction.

I popped open a new beer at the tailgate, and said “Damn. It must really suck to be Michigan.” And then the same sad little song that played in my heart on November 11th last year began to sound.

“I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you
I can’t be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I’m reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can’t hold on
There’s no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone.”

Then I realized the sausage links were done, and I better act fast. Regardless, I feel your pain Michigan fans. I mean, K State isn’t really the same thing as Appalachian State, but you get my drift.

3. Given the big event of this past weekend, what’s the worst you’ve ever felt about your team?

Considering the answer to No. 5, the Longhorn football team only became personal to me within the last 5 years. The worst I ever felt about the team was my very first OU weekend. Properly hungover from a long night at Across The Street Bar and after a good hour of heckling Sooners at the state fair, I watched the Longhorns get trounced 65-13. It was my first year in the spirit group, and I had a front row seat to the massacre. To this day when Sooners mention that game, and the score, I get a) a little queasy, reminded of too much beer, sun and delicious fried foods and b) completely devoid of any comebacks. Other than the usual jabs at Sooners for being toothless, marrying their sisters or having mobile homes I’ve got nothing. National championship and winning the past two Red River Shootouts, while awesome, do nothing to alleviate the pain of that day.

4. Take a classic – like Homer’s Odyssey, Lord of the Flies, Little Women, or, heck, even the latest Simpsons Movie and tell me how it relates to your team this season.

Beowulf. I have a lot of confidence in our coaches, our talent and the knack the Longhorns have to pull a win despite giving us all a near heart attack. Our defense has much room for improvement and our offense needs a little more identity. After Arkansas State, it is clear that this season will be epic and not the cakewalk many imagined.

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Heads will roll, biotch.

And what would an epic story be without epic battles? Nothing, my friend.

Since January 4, 2006 Longhorns have relished in the glow of post National Championship bliss. Texas football returned to glory under Mack Brown and Longhorns have enjoyed some serious winnage as of late. This weekend we face a ranked opponent who has the ability to destroy all of our warriors and completely knock any wind out of our sails.

The Grendel: Texas Christian University

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The likeness hasn’t escaped me.

If the TCU defense doesn’t strike fear in your heart, you are a braver man individual than me I. Not only will the Longhorns have to up the quality of play from last week there is also the (knock on wood) chance of injury of key players we’ll need for later battles. If we can somehow rip the theoretical arm off of TCU and send them back to the marshes of Ft. Worth, we’ll garner some confidence to get us to….

Grendel’s Mother: Oklahoma.

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The Shebeast .

Stoops’ shebeast will traverse the Red River in a vengeful battle. Oklahoma has an impressive QB and if you think they forgot 2005 and 2006, you are crazy. As usual, the Red River Shootout has many implications both for the Big 12 Conference Championship as well as national title implications. We may arrive in Dallas unscathed, but this will be a fierce battle. The only way we’re leaving that way is if our protective armor (i.e. the Longhorn defense) is up to task and if our offense can behead the beast.

After this past weekend, you can’t discount anyone and by skipping the battles with Central Florida, Rice, and Kansas State I’m not doing so. After Oklahoma we must get past Iowa State, Nebraska and OkieLight to get to…

The Dragon: Texas A&M

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She may seem demure, but that bitch breathes fire when she’s pissed.

A long time foe and this team has the cohones to really take it to us this year. I was talking with an Aggie friend, and he said the win last year felt good, but not great. We agreed the Horns looked terrible and weren’t playing their best. We looked dumbstruck on the field and it took a little bit of the sheen off of the victory. This year he’d really like to see us go undefeated, give the Aggies an awesome game at top notch playing and still hand us our ass on a silver platter. I believe this is the want of Aggies everywhere. And it scares me.

And yes, I know that Beowulf dies at the end of the story. Hopefully we can make it through the season without killing ourselves and can get our young talent some experience. Will our hero survive?
5. It wasn’t just by accident you got here. Somewhere, some time, there was someone who influenced you to become a fan of your team. Tell that story.

If you would have asked me the Fall before college, I was going to Rice University. When a friend of mine’s mother did ask, she was having no part of any discussion about Rice, where apparently “Fun” goes to die. She bought me my first burnt orange T-shirt and proceeded the indoctrination.

Convinced I was made to be a Longhorn, she took me to Austin on a rainy weekend to go to a Texas Exes luncheon and then to see the Iowa State football game. The entire car ride up, Mrs. S told me all about Texas: rated one of the best colleges in practically any category of measurement. I was excited to be going, but in my mind I was still set on going to Rice. Did I want to be a Longhorn? A huge state school? No thanks.

The Texas Exes luncheon was at the Texas Exes center. To someone from a small town in East Texas, sitting with so many welcoming alumni and listening to the President of the University speak was amazing. After dinner, the entire room rose, turned towards the tower, horns up and sang The Eyes of Texas. Awesome. Did I want to be a Longhorn? Texas made it to the list of schools to apply.

Game Day: In the rain, with these scraggly looking Orange wigs on, I saw the Longhorn Hellraisers march down 21st Street. We listened to the March Grandioso on the CD player in the car. I saw the crowds of Longhorn faithful, decked out in orange, tailgating despite the weather. Did I want to be a Longhorn? Even in the rain, it sure looked like fun.

That game I watched Cedric Benson rush for 199 yards, injured. I felt the reverberation from the crowd yelling Texas! Fight! 80,000 strong in DKR. Did I want to be a Longhorn? You bet your ass I did.

And that my friends is the day my blood turned burnt orange. (The Terry Foundation didn’t hurt anything, either.)

Big 12 Offensive Player of the Week: Sam Bradford, QB at OU. Damn it.

Big 12 Defensive Player of the Week: Pig Brown. I tried to find someone with better numbers. Not possible.

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