Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for the ‘random babble’ Category

No, We’re Not Dead.

Posted by RubyLynn on February 21, 2008

Hello out there in Longhorn land!

We just wanted to post something quick to let everyone know we didn’t faint or die from exhaustion at an Obama rally. (Although we did have minor freakouts from the Cowboys poor performance in the playoffs – AGAIN.) We here at the Horn are alive and well; we’re just BIG slackers.

Given that neither Txhny nor I are big basketball fans (don’t get us wrong, we enjoy watching the Horns, but neither of us feel we know enough to put any sort of commentary online), we haven’t posted much over the past few months.

This will mainly be a football blog come late summer/early fall, but we’re hoping to post some baseball content every once in a while now that the season is here.

Thanks for those of you who have commented and emailed saying you miss us!

Hook’em!

TheMaskedWino & Txhny

And for those of you who have yet to vote: Freedom is popular again.

Posted in empty promises, random babble, themaskedwino, Tony Romo - hate hate hate | 4 Comments »

Excuses, Excuses.

Posted by TxHny on November 28, 2007

GIVEN FACTS:

Thanksgiving Holiday —> Must See Family
Must See Family —> Crowded Airports
Crowded Airports —> Lots of germs
Lots of germs —> Very sick
Must See Family —> Must go to Podunk, Texas
Podunk, Texas —> No internet access
Must See Family —> Verge of Insanity
Texas Wins —> Happiness
Texas Loses —> Sadness
Texas Loses to Texas A&M —> Complete Despair
Must See Family —> Must Take Off From Work
Must Take Off From Work —> Very Behind At Work

Very Sick + No Internet Access + Verge of Insanity + No Happines + Sadness  + Complete Dispair + Very Behind at Work = Total Blog Neglect.

Promise: back on track this week. In the meantime, enjoy the following and — I think we can all agree with dahorns: Go Longhorn Basketball!!

Aggie Pwned:

Giving Him The Business (HT: RonB)

Adult Swim BCS Commentary (HT: Kevo)
Boston Can Suck it!

In preparation for the Cowboys/Green Bay game… an oldie from one of our favorite blogs: Kissing Suzy Kolber.

Posted in basketball, Cowboys, Get your act together dammit, random babble, txhny | 5 Comments »

A few notes…

Posted by TxHny on November 12, 2007

horn.pngFutbol. While we’re all busy scratching our heads about what it would take to get Texas to the Sugar Bowl, the Longhorn Soccer Ladies picked up another Big 12 Soccer Tournament title. They defeated Texas A&M 2-1 to take the tournament. Congrats ladies.

horn.pngInjuries, good and bad. Senior Tony Hills is out for the last game of the season. Jamaal Charles will have two weeks to heal his heel. Thanks for everything Tony. No news yet about Norton, others.

horn.pngLeach is crazy, new appreciation for Mack Brown. While I sincerely enjoyed Mack’s much needed “meltdown” at the Oklahoma State game, I’m really glad we have a more dignified and respectful coach on our sidelines. This outburst by Mike Leach regarding the officiating at the game is classless, disrespectful and most of all unfounded. That first Longhorn TD was questionable, but that is just the way the game goes. We’ve had calls like that against us many times. Sure, we like to bitch about them, but we aren’t the coach of a football team. Normally Leach’s antics amuse me, but I hope he has to walk the plank for this…

horn.pngBack to life, back to reality. (If you get this joke +5 points for you.) We knew this year was not going to be easy and early on in the year I heard predictions of six losses. I certainly didn’t believe six, but I might have given you four. Texas may not be headed to the MNC, but I think we quieted a lot of dissent on Saturday.

 

“I think we’re back in the mix,” Texas coach Mack Brown said. “What we need to do is play well in two weeks [against Texas A&M]. Then, if something crazy happens and the [Big 12] championship game is a possibility, that would be great. If not, we’re obviously all playing to get in the best place we can get in January.”

Their hopes of making the Big 12 championship game will depend on Oklahoma losing its last two regular-season games against Texas Tech and Oklahoma State. Texas will need to be ranked in the top 14 in the final BCS standings to be considered as an at-large team.

Back in the Saddle, ESPN

horn.pngRetraction of hate, hate, hate. Greg Davis – if that was really you up there in the booth, all I have to say is FINALLY!!!! I was watching the game and a friend remarked, “Did Texas just run a play that no one expected?!” Yes, yes they did. All afternoon the Horns showed offensive depth, originality and execution. Beautiful. Just like that against the Aggies, okay? And Tony Romo, I still don’t like you… but … good game yesterday. There. I said it.

EDIT

Check this out. Spin! Spin! TD!!!!!

Posted in Injuries, random babble, Soccer, Texas, texas tech, Tony Romo - hate hate hate, txhny | 6 Comments »

Tube 4 You: Mike Leach

Posted by TxHny on November 9, 2007

There were so many, I had a very, very hard time selecting.

And a pirate can beat a soldier. Extra nice, because it spites Texas A&M.

Mike Leach doesn’t tolerate your tears, pouting, general bad mood.

Scalpings??

Posted in Meet The Opponent, random babble, texas tech, txhny, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Want a Slice?

Posted by TxHny on November 2, 2007

I’ve recently made the argument to friends, colleagues and anyone else that will stand around while I yammer that Texas, Texas A&M and OU cannot all be good at the same time. And like most, I’m sure right now you are saying, “Txhny, but what about the game in ____, when ____ and ____ were both in the top 10 and….” Yeah, I know. I also hear your argument, “but Texas is soooo big. There are so many great players – isn’t there enough to go around?” No. There isn’t. There are only a few dynamite players per year — Vince Young, Adrian Peterson, Cedric Benson, Jamaal Charles, etc. etc.

My point is simple: Texas is awesome and everyone would like some of the sugary Texas pie. However, no matter how tasty and talented, there is only so much to go around. Let me explain.

texas_pie.jpg
Pie a la tacklin’ fuel.

I salute Texas High School football programs (prioritized right above TAKS scores), coaches, robustly funded athletic programs and all the teachers who fudge grades for the greater good of footballdom.

greatergood.jpg
The greater good.

Their work produces finely tuned athletes for both college and professional football, and now with an even butterier crust! And who vies for the largest slices? Texas, Texas A&M and OU. One major talent base, three programs seeking to be a power-house. Whoever gets the biggest slice wins.

“Txhny, you are seriously off your rocker. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You can’t just pull whatever you want out of your cute white shiny ass and call it logic.”

And you’re right. Gentlemen, I give you numbers, statistics, fancy charts and several hours of my time cursing at Excel.

The method of my madness: Several weeks ago, billyzane of BON fame did an analysis of games 2001-2006 to determine which factors are the best predictors of success in college football games. This article and his other Football by the Numbers pieces are outstanding. You can read this particular one here. To make my point clear, I took the predictors of success identified by billyzane, and then did comparison charts with numbers from Texas, Texas A&M and OU over the span of 9 years. We’re in “year 10” and I’ll do another post or two with predictions and then a final sum up.

rivals-recruiting-rank.gif
(You’ll have to click to see it big, but you can get the gist. Red: OU, Orange: TX, Maroon: TAMU)

This particular factor was not listed by billyzane. And if you hate Rivals – please feel free to take it up with them. This is just what I used as a sort of overall indicator. As you can clearly see, Texas is opposite of OU and Texas A&M.

Next, let’s look at total wins per season. Okay, this is also not a billyzane predictor – but again – just another overall success indicator. What do we care about? Wins! Bowl Games! image002.gif
In particular, look at years 2000, 2003 and 2005. In 2000, OU won the national championship and in 2005, Vince Young won. After 2000, OU sort of evens out. Championships win recruits. Texas was also on the upswing. At this point we see Texas A&M make a pretty significant dip. After 2003, the OU dip in wins coincides with a slight upswing at Texas A&M. (And yes, I realize that this relationship is perhaps affected by the fact that they are all in the Big 12 South. I’m not saying this is perfect, I’m saying it is interesting.)

And on to predictors of success, as defined by billyzane. First up, Net Rush Offense. This chart is actually a bit surprising.image003.gif
It shouldn’t be a huge shock to you that large numbers of rush yards equals success. However, I find it really interesting that in this particular subject all three tend the same. And please note the Cedric Benson/Vince Young factor in 200-2005. Also note the steeeeep drop back to reality in 2006. (A little Texas bragging — in 2004 Ced had 1800 rushing yards by himself, almost as many as Texas A&M had as an entire team.)

Next, let’s look at total offensive yards. Again, shouldn’t be a shocker that this is a big indicator of success. Yards = TDs = wins. image004.gif
Again, look at the areas of huge upswing – OU in 1998, 2001-2003, Texas in 2003-2005. Those are areas of big success for those programs. And they coincide with a big drop for someone else.

First Downs per season is also another good indicator of success. Keep in mind on all of these charts, that the year after is likely quite influenced by the year before.image006.gif

This is a nice chart to illustrate my point.
image007.gif
I couldn’t find statistics for OU in this category – so we’ll this is simplified by comparing only Texas and texas A&M. One goes up, the other comes down.

image010.gif
And total pass offense. Not as in line as the rush offense, but expected since there was a disparity in total offence. However, notice the high peaks and the low peaks.

Anyway – perhaps this doesn’t solidly reinforce my point – but I think it is food for thought. I’m working on getting some other stats as far as number of Texas players per season and working some of that up.

Any approval or dissent regarding the above, discuss in the comments.

-txhny

Posted in Big 12, game observations, meat and taters, Oklahoma, random babble, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »

A Few Notes….

Posted by TxHny on October 7, 2007

horn.pngFirst, we lost today. If you are honestly shocked, shaken – see me after class. If we were going to do something other than win, this looked pretty good. I was impressed with our defensive line and also — despite the INT — proud of Colt. We certainly had some trouble on offense (ahem, Charles…) but I think Oklahoma brought out the best in us. We looked a lot more like a ranked team than in any other game. Coaches: Thank you, thank you THANK YOU for eliminating that god-awful horizontal passing  crap. I was about to lose it.

horn.pngYou’ve probably noticed the site looks a little different. We’re working on it. Give us a few days while we decide what we like best. We’re also working on getting some more content up. We know you want, need and crave more!

horn.pngTechnical difficulties. Our hornofgabriel.com email addresses are not working properly. You’ll see a note up soon when they are working again. In the meantime, feel free to rant/rave in the comments like our dear friend Mary. Or you can use the pre-site oldie: hornofgabriel@gmail.com

horn.pngNext week we have Iowa State. Expect a nice preview comparing some pre-Chizik and post-Chizik type statistics. If anyone wants to volunteer to be our text message buddies for game scores, we’ll owe you a drink the next time we see you. TheMaskedWino and myself are headed down into Aggie territory for the Big State Festival to be judges for the BBQ contest. Mmm. BBQ. Expect also a full report on the best country music and barbque the state has to offer. Going too? Shoot us an email – we’ll try to catch while we’re in town.

horn.pngAnd finally, since I totally sucked this week, I can boast without jinxing myself. My bud Brad over at the12thmanchild.com has a Pick ‘Em challenge for a $200 bottle of Crown. I’ve been at the top since the beginning, but last week marked my short tenure as the sole leader. Yes. I’m tooting my own Gabriel’s Horn. 🙂

Posted in random babble, Texas, txhny | Leave a Comment »

Charlie Weis Can Keep A Secret

Posted by TxHny on September 13, 2007

This just in. We’re proud to be the first to bring you the breaking news regarding Notre Dame football.

CARLSBAD, September 13 – Jenny Craig issued a press release this morning breaking contract negotiations with rumored new spokesperson Charlie Weis, head football coach of the Fighting Irish at Notre Dame University. Not even the many options of Jenny Craig Cuisine and the personal one on one consultations could help the famed college coach.

 

weis2.jpg

 

“After tedious research, careful consideration and a lot of personal time with Charlie, we discovered that Charlie Weis is in fact not overweight. At this time, we must reserve spokesperson roles for individuals who have weight to lose.”

 

It was discovered that Weis’ outward appearance was not the result of too many beer battered onion rings at McFaddin’s, a lack of exercise, or a glandular problem. In fact, the cause is something leaked from within the Notre Dame football ranks.

 

“He’s always been really secretive about the game plans, starting rosters even. He’s constantly scribbling, cautiously watching to make sure no one else can see. Then, no kiddin’ man… he eats them.”

 

According to other sources close to Weis, the problem has worsened progressively over the past few weeks.

 

“Initially, it was just a post-it of notes for special teams. He told the players and coaches what was going on but avoided leaving paper trails… As Notre Dame slips in the polls, he becomes increasingly withdrawn and I bet he is up to a pack of college rule a day.”

 

Dr. Sylvia Woodgrove, a nutritionist at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, suggests this behavior is a result of career related-paranoia and that much daily intake of paper would lead to severe blocking of the gastrointestinal tract.

 

 

Jenny Craig has extended regret in the termination of their relationship with Charlie, but hopes that he will be able to find the help he needs.

 

“When, and if he gets the proper medical attention, the door is always open for him at Jenny Craig. We were hoping Charlie could be a role model for men suffering from tailgate binging, much in the way women are inspired by Kirstie Alley.”

 

There you have it, dear reader, it turns out that Charlie Weis isn’t fat, he’s just full of shit. (This may explain why all Notre Dame’s plays are crap, but we won’t make any assumptions until further research is compiled and properly sanitized.) We here at the Horn tip our hat, as Charlie Weis has endangered himself, an alarming number of navy blue windsuits, and the sanctity of the Notre Dame University in the name of college football.

Photo, MSNBC and Sports Illustrated
and in a related story, The Sporting News.

Posted in Notre Dame, random babble, Secret Memos, txhny | 3 Comments »

Big 12 Roundtable : Getting Personal

Posted by TxHny on September 7, 2007

Horn of Gabriel, reppin’ Texas and Big 12 south since… a week or so ago. Lol.

1. What did you learn, if anything, about your team on opening weekend? More specifically, did you see anything that brought complete elation or utter disappointment?

We’ve got a long way to go, baby. Jamaal Charles was particularly impressive. Secondly, this isn’t the first or last time I’ll say it, Deon Beasley is special. (And also makes me a double homer, because he went to my high school.)

Our secondary was an utter disappointment as well as Colt’s performance. Everyone has an off game and this may be a case of unreasonable expectations. I’ll reserve any sincere complaints until this Sunday.

Also… sitting in the alumni section is way cool. Literally. It is in the shade.

2. 20 years from now, someone will ask you “Where Were You When Appalachian State beat Michigan?”. Describe what you were doing at the time, your reaction.

I popped open a new beer at the tailgate, and said “Damn. It must really suck to be Michigan.” And then the same sad little song that played in my heart on November 11th last year began to sound.

“I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you
I can’t be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I’m reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can’t hold on
There’s no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone.”

Then I realized the sausage links were done, and I better act fast. Regardless, I feel your pain Michigan fans. I mean, K State isn’t really the same thing as Appalachian State, but you get my drift.

3. Given the big event of this past weekend, what’s the worst you’ve ever felt about your team?

Considering the answer to No. 5, the Longhorn football team only became personal to me within the last 5 years. The worst I ever felt about the team was my very first OU weekend. Properly hungover from a long night at Across The Street Bar and after a good hour of heckling Sooners at the state fair, I watched the Longhorns get trounced 65-13. It was my first year in the spirit group, and I had a front row seat to the massacre. To this day when Sooners mention that game, and the score, I get a) a little queasy, reminded of too much beer, sun and delicious fried foods and b) completely devoid of any comebacks. Other than the usual jabs at Sooners for being toothless, marrying their sisters or having mobile homes I’ve got nothing. National championship and winning the past two Red River Shootouts, while awesome, do nothing to alleviate the pain of that day.

4. Take a classic – like Homer’s Odyssey, Lord of the Flies, Little Women, or, heck, even the latest Simpsons Movie and tell me how it relates to your team this season.

Beowulf. I have a lot of confidence in our coaches, our talent and the knack the Longhorns have to pull a win despite giving us all a near heart attack. Our defense has much room for improvement and our offense needs a little more identity. After Arkansas State, it is clear that this season will be epic and not the cakewalk many imagined.

beowulfgrendelposter.jpg
Heads will roll, biotch.

And what would an epic story be without epic battles? Nothing, my friend.

Since January 4, 2006 Longhorns have relished in the glow of post National Championship bliss. Texas football returned to glory under Mack Brown and Longhorns have enjoyed some serious winnage as of late. This weekend we face a ranked opponent who has the ability to destroy all of our warriors and completely knock any wind out of our sails.

The Grendel: Texas Christian University

grendel.jpg horned-frog.jpg
The likeness hasn’t escaped me.

If the TCU defense doesn’t strike fear in your heart, you are a braver man individual than me I. Not only will the Longhorns have to up the quality of play from last week there is also the (knock on wood) chance of injury of key players we’ll need for later battles. If we can somehow rip the theoretical arm off of TCU and send them back to the marshes of Ft. Worth, we’ll garner some confidence to get us to….

Grendel’s Mother: Oklahoma.

stoops.jpg
The Shebeast .

Stoops’ shebeast will traverse the Red River in a vengeful battle. Oklahoma has an impressive QB and if you think they forgot 2005 and 2006, you are crazy. As usual, the Red River Shootout has many implications both for the Big 12 Conference Championship as well as national title implications. We may arrive in Dallas unscathed, but this will be a fierce battle. The only way we’re leaving that way is if our protective armor (i.e. the Longhorn defense) is up to task and if our offense can behead the beast.

After this past weekend, you can’t discount anyone and by skipping the battles with Central Florida, Rice, and Kansas State I’m not doing so. After Oklahoma we must get past Iowa State, Nebraska and OkieLight to get to…

The Dragon: Texas A&M

reveille_big.jpg
She may seem demure, but that bitch breathes fire when she’s pissed.

A long time foe and this team has the cohones to really take it to us this year. I was talking with an Aggie friend, and he said the win last year felt good, but not great. We agreed the Horns looked terrible and weren’t playing their best. We looked dumbstruck on the field and it took a little bit of the sheen off of the victory. This year he’d really like to see us go undefeated, give the Aggies an awesome game at top notch playing and still hand us our ass on a silver platter. I believe this is the want of Aggies everywhere. And it scares me.

And yes, I know that Beowulf dies at the end of the story. Hopefully we can make it through the season without killing ourselves and can get our young talent some experience. Will our hero survive?
5. It wasn’t just by accident you got here. Somewhere, some time, there was someone who influenced you to become a fan of your team. Tell that story.

If you would have asked me the Fall before college, I was going to Rice University. When a friend of mine’s mother did ask, she was having no part of any discussion about Rice, where apparently “Fun” goes to die. She bought me my first burnt orange T-shirt and proceeded the indoctrination.

Convinced I was made to be a Longhorn, she took me to Austin on a rainy weekend to go to a Texas Exes luncheon and then to see the Iowa State football game. The entire car ride up, Mrs. S told me all about Texas: rated one of the best colleges in practically any category of measurement. I was excited to be going, but in my mind I was still set on going to Rice. Did I want to be a Longhorn? A huge state school? No thanks.

The Texas Exes luncheon was at the Texas Exes center. To someone from a small town in East Texas, sitting with so many welcoming alumni and listening to the President of the University speak was amazing. After dinner, the entire room rose, turned towards the tower, horns up and sang The Eyes of Texas. Awesome. Did I want to be a Longhorn? Texas made it to the list of schools to apply.

Game Day: In the rain, with these scraggly looking Orange wigs on, I saw the Longhorn Hellraisers march down 21st Street. We listened to the March Grandioso on the CD player in the car. I saw the crowds of Longhorn faithful, decked out in orange, tailgating despite the weather. Did I want to be a Longhorn? Even in the rain, it sure looked like fun.

That game I watched Cedric Benson rush for 199 yards, injured. I felt the reverberation from the crowd yelling Texas! Fight! 80,000 strong in DKR. Did I want to be a Longhorn? You bet your ass I did.

And that my friends is the day my blood turned burnt orange. (The Terry Foundation didn’t hurt anything, either.)

Big 12 Offensive Player of the Week: Sam Bradford, QB at OU. Damn it.

Big 12 Defensive Player of the Week: Pig Brown. I tried to find someone with better numbers. Not possible.

Posted in Big 12, blog love, like - school spirit!, Oklahoma, random babble, Roundtables, TCU, Texas A&M, toothless varmints, txhny | 2 Comments »

Kicking it up a notch…

Posted by TxHny on August 27, 2007

Fans, friends, family, really bored people, the rest of blogdom and hopefully not any law school admissions officers or my employer:

Gabriel’s Horn is on the web. I know many of you spent countless nights tossing and turning regarding the fate of our widely acclaimed newsletter. JB and I officially graduated and entered the grown up work force, which is a scary thought in and of itself, but if anything we now have more time to drag the nets and come up with the bottom dwellings of college football fresh for you. In case you were worried, we’ve also promoted The Masked Wino from draft editor to full time contributor. Now, rather than get your dose of Longhorn updates, the status of Mark Mangino’s pregnancy, stats and trash talking about anyone and everyone just once a week, you’ll get a little taste of what we’re servin’ up all week long. (What can we say, our stamina is improving.)

Shortly we’ll get all of the old issues up in the archives and we’ll certainly have your favorite features back from the paper newsletter. Plus, now with TMW on board, we have a whole slate of fresh ideas that we found at the bottom of a few wine bottles over the weekend.

It is no secret that if our blog could have a crush, it would be on Burnt Orange Nation and EDSBS. (Our blog can have as many crushes as it wants. So there.) As such we were inspired and slightly enamored by this article: PB’s Oath To Elevating The Discourse. As we kickoff our entry into blogdom, we felt this is the perfect time to make our own pledge. We should point out that if you are looking for elevated discourse on Texas sports, you should totally check out BON, because Peter Bean is a better person than any of us. We have no intention to undermine his endeavor, but we solemnly pledge the following.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in blog love, empty promises, random babble, txhny | Leave a Comment »