Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for the ‘like – school spirit!’ Category

I’m REALLY Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 5, 6, 7…

Posted by TxHny on November 20, 2007

As Ron pointed out, I sort of fell off the wagon. I am very glad I am a Longhorn, just a busy Longhorn.
In an effort to makeup for missed time over the weekend, I offer the following collection:

LONGHORN LOVE

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Beautiful Campus… Great Fans…

AND AGGIE LOATHING

12th Man Entertainment @ TexAgs

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Ice Cream Men… Ironic Merchandise…

And to top it all off, I’ll request a little help from you. Yes, yes, it is a caption contest. I’ll get you started. Prize to be determined by your location. 🙂

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“Why can’t you be more like Jamaal Charles?”

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I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 3

Posted by TxHny on November 14, 2007

Aggie Jokes are like bellybuttons – everyone has one. Here are a few of my favorites – add yours in the comments – or if you dare, give us your best shot back!

 

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey bartender, I know a great Aggie joke. You want to hear it?” The bartender says, “Well, before you tell it I should probably tell you that I went to A&M. And you see those two big guys sitting next to you — they were linebackers for the A&M football team. And those two guys on your other side — they’re Marines, and they used to be in the Corps of Cadets at A&M. Now, are you sure you really want to tell that Aggie joke?” The guy thinks for a second. “I guess not,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”

 

An Aggie student is doing an experiment with a frog. He wants to see how far the frog jumps each time he cuts off a eg. The Aggie student cuts off one of the frogs legs and says, “Jump froggy.” He records in his notebook, “Froggy with three legs jumps one foot.” He cuts off a second leg and says, “Jump froggy.” In his notebook he writes, “Froggy with two legs jumps six inches.” He cuts off its third leg and says, “Jump froggy.” He writes down in his notebook, “Froggy with one leg jumps 3 inches.” Then he cuts off its last leg and says, “Jump froggy.” The frog just sits there. The Aggie says again, “Jump froggy!” but the frog just sits there. Finally, he writes in his
notebook, “Froggy with no legs can’t hear.”

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the A&M campus, because that’s the last place you’ll find a football player.

 

How can you tell an Aggie is on location at a drilling rig?
He’s the one throwing bread to the helicopters.

There was a group of Aggie science students that wanted to send a probe to the sun, but some UT students said that was impossible and that the probe would burn up long before reaching the sun. The Aggies replied that they planned to send the probe at night.

 

A Longhorn, a Techster and an Aggie went into a bar for a drink. The longhorn tells the bartender, I’ll have a TC. The bartender says ”what’s that?” . The Longhorn says ”you know, a Tom Collins.” The Techster says ”I’ll have a PC.” The bartender says ”what’s that?” The Techster says “a Pina Colida.” The Aggie says “I’ll have a 15.” The bartender says ”what’s that?” The aggie says “you know — seven & seven”.

Aggie 1: Did you hear the good news? Scientists discovered that Mad Cow Disease is not able to be sexually transmitted.
Aggie 2: What a relief!

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 6 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 2

Posted by TxHny on November 13, 2007

You know I love numbered lists. I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn, let me count the ways.

1. No Overalls. No Ugly T-Shirts. Oh, and no overalls. Really?! OVERALLS? We have burnt orange to work with – and we make it look good. You have MAROON – you can’t do anything better with maroon?!

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2. We have a “rivalry” with many schools – everyone likes to beat Texas (we’re kind of the yard stick, you know what I mean?) However, I’m happy to say there is no penis envy lurking around Austin. Last week the Aggies sang about beating Texas, wore anti-Texas shirts and did the horns down. Texas on the other hand was focused on beating Texas Tech and completely unconcerned at all with Texas A&M.

3. Cool merchandise. Yes. These are raggedy Aggies. Really. Really?
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4. No pretending, homoeroticism. Which would you rather?
corps.jpg or lhb.jpg

yell-leaders.gif or texas-cheer.jpg
Even Aggies prefer Texas cheer

5. At Texas nobody uses the word “tradition” to justify many, many inexplicable acts.

6. The most revered entity on our campus is not Lassie.

7. Nothing as comical/disgraceful as this: http://www.texags.com/main/forum.main.asp

8. 73-35-5

9. 47 National Championships in 11 sports

10. What Starts Here Changes The World.

Posted in like - school spirit!, Meet The Opponent, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 5 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 1

Posted by TxHny on November 12, 2007

We have a full two weeks to properly prepare ourselves for our annual showdown with our sheepish friends in College Station. Expect some in depth breakdown later in the week. Until then I provide this for your viewing…uh…pleasure.

Man of the House was pretty bad, but this makes me feel much, much better about it. (I was an extra in Man of the House, btw. I’m wearing the Letter I in Fight. 🙂 )

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 6 Comments »

Great Idea from Flags Over Raiderland…

Posted by TxHny on November 9, 2007

Something both Texas and Tech fans can finally agree on:

http://raiderpower.blogspot.com/2007/11/ideas-for-tomorrow.html

If you aren’t headed down to DKR for the showdown, Zebbie will make sure you still have a good time.

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Throwback – Tech Students Riot

Posted by TxHny on November 7, 2007

This is an article brought out from the print-archives of yesteryear (last year to be exact). The article is a little dated, but it was so good, I couldn’t resist reposting for your reading pleasure. As always, thanks for your input Stephon, you’re a real American hero.

 

Tech Students Riot In Bout to Get Mascot Changed
By: Stephon Oceantombs, Guest Columnist

 

 

Lubbock erupted into fiery, dust ridden chaos Monday as students rioted in hopes to get the mascot of the school changed to a pirate in honor of coach Leach. 

 

 

Over the years, a certain disdain has grown over the current mascot of “Raider Red” and the Masked Rider, with very few students actually knowing what either one was for. “I’ve always been concerned with vandalizing the UT bus more than anything else… Oh, and beer”, was the answer given by Hunter Killsalot from Cut & Shoot when asked why he didn’t know what the two mascots were for. The answers from other students were similar, with most of them thinking more about where the nearest STD test facility was located and how they were going to afford the MIP ticket they got last week. 

 

 

This whole fiasco started after the New York Times featured an article about coach Leach and his affinity for pirates. This and Tech’s recent bout with a disease called “massive suck so bad we lose to Colorado” led to students, in a drunken rage, questioning the usefulness of the mascot. One student was heard screaming “What the @#$%@ is a masked rider?!” with others questioning Tech’s decision not to go with some other mascot. “They could have given us a mythical creature, like an Aggie or something. That would have been better than a masked rider” said Angela Fratwhore from Cotton Center as she finished off her 40 and attempted to make out with me. She proceeded to explain to me how her two year-old son and two and a half year old daughter could have come up with a better mascot. I would have quoted it here but her speech became so slurred it was impossible understand. 

 

 

Meeting with Coach Leach to discuss the riot, I learned of his support of the students and the mascot change. “Hang on, let me get this dust out of my Jack and coke… Yeah, I think the students are right on track here. Masked riders can’t swing swords, they just shoot things, how sissy is that? If we had a pirate mascot we could have a sword swinger right there on the field with the players (and me!)”, said Leach. His babbling went on to talk little about football but instead focused on the history of pirates and some “booty” that he had claimed at a strip club the night before. I left soon after, since there wasn’t much more I was going to squeeze out of the vault that is Mike Leach. Well, that and the fact that he passed out halfway through writing down a play on a napkin. 

 

Maybe a pirate mascot is what this team needs. Maybe this riot will teach Tech that when they claim to “still ride horses” in their commercial, cars get torched. Or, maybe something just needs to be done to keep the dust out of our beer when the wind starts blowing. Whatever the case may be, the Tech fans are in a fighting mood, the same mood that anyone so liquored up, they’d do their mom, would be. So lock your cars, hide the fact you’re a UT fan and enjoy Lubbock. Just remember, if a Raider gets too close, offer it some beer, it will go away… Or, just puke all over your shoes.

 

Posted in Get your act together dammit, like - school spirit!, texas tech | Leave a Comment »

Big 12 Roundtable: Now We Know

Posted by TxHny on September 12, 2007

This week’s questions are from Crimson and Cream Machine, the blog of our infamous rival across the Red River.

1. Based on what you now know to be your team’s strengths and weaknesses – if the game was on the line, do you want your offense or defense on the field?

Just to be the other side of the coin, I’ll go with the Texas defense. After Arkansas State I was not impressed, and the problems we’ve had for a couple seasons with our secondary were completely exposed. After the TCU game however, I really like the more aggressive style of defense. I’d like to see that continue, so I give the vote to the Longhorn D.

2. If you had to pick a team from the AP Top 10 for your team to play this weekend, who would you pick, and why (OU & Texas are not options)?

I’d love love love to see a game with LSU. If we played this weekend we’d get taken behind the woodshed, but can you imagine how much fun the tailgate would be? Gumbo and BBQ. Shiner Bock and boudain. Laissez le bon temps roulet!

Buuuuut that would not be this weekend. This weekend, I’d love to see West Virginia. A nice win against a highly ranked opponent would bode well for the Longhorns. Plus I’d like to see how Colt and the offense would do against Williams, Ivy and Magro. (Not to ignore WVU’s offense, led by dual-threat Patrick White.)

3. You can take one player off your team and trade him for any player in the conference who plays the same position – who are you taking?

Hmm. I can’t believe I’m saying this… but considering the question marks around Orakpo’s return… I’d like to take Alonzo Dotson from OU for Eddie Jones. Jones has done a fine job while Orakpo is out, but Dotson is a tacklin’ machine.

Too bad we can’t get this guy.

4. Conference Power Rankings! Rank the teams in the conference from first to worst.

1. Oklahoma. I can’t wait for October 6th.

2. Texas – Don’t question our authority.

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3. Nebraska – Come on. Beat USC. Please??

4. Missouri – I don’t understand how Texas A&M is on the AP Poll, and Missouri is not. Big 12 South bias?

5. Texas Tech – Can Graham keep Leach out of the hot seat?

6. Kansas, Texas A&M, Kansas State – Kind of a cop out by putting them together. I just couldn’t order them and really feel good about it. I’ve underestimated Kansas and Kansas State on more than one occasion. Texas A&M also leaves me uncomfortable. Fresno State isn’t a terrible team, but I felt that the Aggies should have ran away with the game.

9. Oklahoma State – Disappointed. I expected a lot more out of the first couple of games.

10. Colorado – Particularly after they lose to Florida State this week.

11. Baylor – “Heavenly Father, Thank you for Iowa State. Amen.”

12. Iowa State Chizik: Do you miss Bevo yet?

5. Big 12 Players of the Week – Make your selections for offensive and defensive players of the week for week two.

Offense: Colt McCoy. He didn’t look awesome the first half of the TCU game, but he rushed for 34 yards, and threw for 239. I know TD passes are a big deal and I want to see more of those, but I hope we’ll see more of Week 2 Colt this season. (Yes. I know I’m a homer. I gave Bradford his due last week.)

Defense: To mix things up, let’s go with Steve Octavian from Nebraska. 6 tackles, 2 for loss, and some pass defense to boot. Nice.

Not on CCM’s list of questions, but… Big 12 Hot Player of the Week.

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Big 12 Roundtable : Getting Personal

Posted by TxHny on September 7, 2007

Horn of Gabriel, reppin’ Texas and Big 12 south since… a week or so ago. Lol.

1. What did you learn, if anything, about your team on opening weekend? More specifically, did you see anything that brought complete elation or utter disappointment?

We’ve got a long way to go, baby. Jamaal Charles was particularly impressive. Secondly, this isn’t the first or last time I’ll say it, Deon Beasley is special. (And also makes me a double homer, because he went to my high school.)

Our secondary was an utter disappointment as well as Colt’s performance. Everyone has an off game and this may be a case of unreasonable expectations. I’ll reserve any sincere complaints until this Sunday.

Also… sitting in the alumni section is way cool. Literally. It is in the shade.

2. 20 years from now, someone will ask you “Where Were You When Appalachian State beat Michigan?”. Describe what you were doing at the time, your reaction.

I popped open a new beer at the tailgate, and said “Damn. It must really suck to be Michigan.” And then the same sad little song that played in my heart on November 11th last year began to sound.

“I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I’m all out of love, what am I without you
I can’t be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I’m reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can’t hold on
There’s no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone.”

Then I realized the sausage links were done, and I better act fast. Regardless, I feel your pain Michigan fans. I mean, K State isn’t really the same thing as Appalachian State, but you get my drift.

3. Given the big event of this past weekend, what’s the worst you’ve ever felt about your team?

Considering the answer to No. 5, the Longhorn football team only became personal to me within the last 5 years. The worst I ever felt about the team was my very first OU weekend. Properly hungover from a long night at Across The Street Bar and after a good hour of heckling Sooners at the state fair, I watched the Longhorns get trounced 65-13. It was my first year in the spirit group, and I had a front row seat to the massacre. To this day when Sooners mention that game, and the score, I get a) a little queasy, reminded of too much beer, sun and delicious fried foods and b) completely devoid of any comebacks. Other than the usual jabs at Sooners for being toothless, marrying their sisters or having mobile homes I’ve got nothing. National championship and winning the past two Red River Shootouts, while awesome, do nothing to alleviate the pain of that day.

4. Take a classic – like Homer’s Odyssey, Lord of the Flies, Little Women, or, heck, even the latest Simpsons Movie and tell me how it relates to your team this season.

Beowulf. I have a lot of confidence in our coaches, our talent and the knack the Longhorns have to pull a win despite giving us all a near heart attack. Our defense has much room for improvement and our offense needs a little more identity. After Arkansas State, it is clear that this season will be epic and not the cakewalk many imagined.

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Heads will roll, biotch.

And what would an epic story be without epic battles? Nothing, my friend.

Since January 4, 2006 Longhorns have relished in the glow of post National Championship bliss. Texas football returned to glory under Mack Brown and Longhorns have enjoyed some serious winnage as of late. This weekend we face a ranked opponent who has the ability to destroy all of our warriors and completely knock any wind out of our sails.

The Grendel: Texas Christian University

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The likeness hasn’t escaped me.

If the TCU defense doesn’t strike fear in your heart, you are a braver man individual than me I. Not only will the Longhorns have to up the quality of play from last week there is also the (knock on wood) chance of injury of key players we’ll need for later battles. If we can somehow rip the theoretical arm off of TCU and send them back to the marshes of Ft. Worth, we’ll garner some confidence to get us to….

Grendel’s Mother: Oklahoma.

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The Shebeast .

Stoops’ shebeast will traverse the Red River in a vengeful battle. Oklahoma has an impressive QB and if you think they forgot 2005 and 2006, you are crazy. As usual, the Red River Shootout has many implications both for the Big 12 Conference Championship as well as national title implications. We may arrive in Dallas unscathed, but this will be a fierce battle. The only way we’re leaving that way is if our protective armor (i.e. the Longhorn defense) is up to task and if our offense can behead the beast.

After this past weekend, you can’t discount anyone and by skipping the battles with Central Florida, Rice, and Kansas State I’m not doing so. After Oklahoma we must get past Iowa State, Nebraska and OkieLight to get to…

The Dragon: Texas A&M

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She may seem demure, but that bitch breathes fire when she’s pissed.

A long time foe and this team has the cohones to really take it to us this year. I was talking with an Aggie friend, and he said the win last year felt good, but not great. We agreed the Horns looked terrible and weren’t playing their best. We looked dumbstruck on the field and it took a little bit of the sheen off of the victory. This year he’d really like to see us go undefeated, give the Aggies an awesome game at top notch playing and still hand us our ass on a silver platter. I believe this is the want of Aggies everywhere. And it scares me.

And yes, I know that Beowulf dies at the end of the story. Hopefully we can make it through the season without killing ourselves and can get our young talent some experience. Will our hero survive?
5. It wasn’t just by accident you got here. Somewhere, some time, there was someone who influenced you to become a fan of your team. Tell that story.

If you would have asked me the Fall before college, I was going to Rice University. When a friend of mine’s mother did ask, she was having no part of any discussion about Rice, where apparently “Fun” goes to die. She bought me my first burnt orange T-shirt and proceeded the indoctrination.

Convinced I was made to be a Longhorn, she took me to Austin on a rainy weekend to go to a Texas Exes luncheon and then to see the Iowa State football game. The entire car ride up, Mrs. S told me all about Texas: rated one of the best colleges in practically any category of measurement. I was excited to be going, but in my mind I was still set on going to Rice. Did I want to be a Longhorn? A huge state school? No thanks.

The Texas Exes luncheon was at the Texas Exes center. To someone from a small town in East Texas, sitting with so many welcoming alumni and listening to the President of the University speak was amazing. After dinner, the entire room rose, turned towards the tower, horns up and sang The Eyes of Texas. Awesome. Did I want to be a Longhorn? Texas made it to the list of schools to apply.

Game Day: In the rain, with these scraggly looking Orange wigs on, I saw the Longhorn Hellraisers march down 21st Street. We listened to the March Grandioso on the CD player in the car. I saw the crowds of Longhorn faithful, decked out in orange, tailgating despite the weather. Did I want to be a Longhorn? Even in the rain, it sure looked like fun.

That game I watched Cedric Benson rush for 199 yards, injured. I felt the reverberation from the crowd yelling Texas! Fight! 80,000 strong in DKR. Did I want to be a Longhorn? You bet your ass I did.

And that my friends is the day my blood turned burnt orange. (The Terry Foundation didn’t hurt anything, either.)

Big 12 Offensive Player of the Week: Sam Bradford, QB at OU. Damn it.

Big 12 Defensive Player of the Week: Pig Brown. I tried to find someone with better numbers. Not possible.

Posted in Big 12, blog love, like - school spirit!, Oklahoma, random babble, Roundtables, TCU, Texas A&M, toothless varmints, txhny | 2 Comments »

College Colors Day

Posted by TxHny on August 30, 2007

Barely beating out Dimpled Chad Day (January 4th) and Do Dah Day (May 19th), College Colors Day is in our top 10 favorite holidays of the year (to be disclosed in a later post.)

CLC CCD

Promoting awareness of higher education since 2005.

The Collegiate Licensing Company is just brimming over with school spirit (and cardigans, tshirts, onesies, baseball caps, limited edition Hawaiian-style button up shirts, watches, socks, backpacks, jackets, belts, sandals and handbags) for your favorite team. As if the dawn of football season wasn’t enough, this gives you an even better reason to sport your school colors this Friday, August 31st.

Pardon us while we sift through the burnt orange section of our closet to appropriately plan for our attire on Friday. However, if you work with Sooners like I do, be careful. And you thought “Saw ‘Em Off” was bad… (Note to self, add “Dangerous Sooners” to reasons why I like being a girl.)

While this may seem like a self serving initiative for the CLC they have higher education at heart:

“College Colors Day strives to promote higher education in the United States through increased public awareness and celebrates the achievements of colleges and universities in the United States, acknowledging their critical and fundamental importance to the United States.”

We completely agree. Without higher education, this ad wouldn’t be funny.

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