Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for the ‘corporate whores’ Category

We’re not supposed to show you this but…

Posted by RubyLynn on September 6, 2007

We couldn’t help ourselves. College football fans everywhere deserve to know who’s responsible for the return to normal clock rules. So from all of us at Gabriel’s Horn, you’re welcome. We received the following memo from the NCAA a while back, and thought it would be a crime not to post it.

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Our personal information has been redacted.

Since the Gabriel’s Horn is no Colin Cowherd we’d like to extend our own thanks to Wizard of Odds, CFBstats, the fans, and above all God for their assistance in our endeavor to keep the NCAA under our manicured thumb. Truly, we couldn’t do it without you.

Oh – and don’t think we haven’t noticed this new kickoff rule. We’re reserving judgment until a few conference games have been played, but NCAA Rules Committee – you’re on notice. If we don’t like it – the consequences will NOT be pretty.

Posted in corporate whores, empty promises, Secret Memos, themaskedwino, Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Pay Per View?!

Posted by TxHny on August 31, 2007

While two of your authors will most certainly be at the game, we’re appalled the remainder of the 23 million Texans (not to mention Texas alums out of state) will have to shell out 30 bucks to catch the season opener. (And before the fans from other Texas universities chime in, you know you watch Texas games. Keep your enemies close, right?) The good points of this plan include retaining both arms and legs as a result of not purchasing season tickets, simultaneous beverage consumption with game watching and potentially avoiding contact with any Arkansas fans (which did not go well for me personally in 2004) — we can hardly believe someone hasn’t done something. Now I ask you, WWLD? (What Would Ladybird Do?) She’d have gotten us the game on network television. Rules, my friend, do not apply to Ladybird Johnson.

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WWLD? Not put up with PPV.

Since there is in fact nothing we can do about the Pay Per View situation, you have one of three options:

1) Shell out the 30 bucks, call some friends and neighbors over and try this or this. And of course, have some Skinny Dip.

Advisable. You’ll still get to see Charles singe the grass as he blazes down the field and provided you don’t live in Oklahoma, you probably have air conditioning and will be out of the rain. Plus, you can’t have a beer in DKR.

2) Watch the game at a kickass bar like Third Base (6th&Mopac) and spend that 30 bucks on beer. Casual enough that you don’t feel odd in your Texas T-shirt, but classy enough that the floor doesn’t contain “bar sludge.” Perks: a couple of pool tables, shuffleboard, and excellent staff.

Also advisable. Make some instant friends out of strangers, and you’ll be able to catch the rest of college cupcake games on the various screens.

3) Just miss the first week of college football. You know, catch up on some reading. Clean out the fridge. Play a little Xbox.

And be dead to us.

Posted in bars clubs and other hangouts where we drink too much, corporate whores, scheduling, txhny | Leave a Comment »