Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for November, 2007

Dick Cheney Says…

Posted by RubyLynn on November 29, 2007


Bruins are easier prey than quail … or lawyers.


Posted in basketball, Dick Cheney is a bad motha - shut yo mouth!, themaskedwino | 5 Comments »

Excuses, Excuses.

Posted by TxHny on November 28, 2007


Thanksgiving Holiday —> Must See Family
Must See Family —> Crowded Airports
Crowded Airports —> Lots of germs
Lots of germs —> Very sick
Must See Family —> Must go to Podunk, Texas
Podunk, Texas —> No internet access
Must See Family —> Verge of Insanity
Texas Wins —> Happiness
Texas Loses —> Sadness
Texas Loses to Texas A&M —> Complete Despair
Must See Family —> Must Take Off From Work
Must Take Off From Work —> Very Behind At Work

Very Sick + No Internet Access + Verge of Insanity + No Happines + Sadness  + Complete Dispair + Very Behind at Work = Total Blog Neglect.

Promise: back on track this week. In the meantime, enjoy the following and — I think we can all agree with dahorns: Go Longhorn Basketball!!

Aggie Pwned:

Giving Him The Business (HT: RonB)

Adult Swim BCS Commentary (HT: Kevo)
Boston Can Suck it!

In preparation for the Cowboys/Green Bay game… an oldie from one of our favorite blogs: Kissing Suzy Kolber.

Posted in basketball, Cowboys, Get your act together dammit, random babble, txhny | 5 Comments »

So… On To Basketball

Posted by dahorns on November 28, 2007

In an entirely unsatisfactory week of football, from the Texas defense imitating empty space, to Vince’s Titans imitating a high school team, to Cedric Benson breaking his leg (conjecture, but season ending surgery nonetheless), the one thing that kept my morale high was DJ and company running circles around #7 Tennessee on the hardwood.

I have never seen a Rick Barnes offense execute the way I saw against Tennessee. There have been some glimpses earlier this year, but nothing on the level that happened Saturday night. AJ is going to terrorize teams this year with his quick shot. The big surprise is Connor dominating. He looks a lot stronger and more coordinated this year. He is also apparently faster, as evidenced by his several fast break dunks and layups already this year.

Kudos to you Barnes, you saved my life.

Posted in basketball, dahorns | 1 Comment »

It’s Business, It’s Business Time

Posted by RubyLynn on November 21, 2007

“When it’s with me, you only need two minutes, girl”

We’re thankful for…

Reese Witherspoon. Beautiful, successful, and a wonderful actress. My personal fave is Election.

And another actor with a beautiful voice…

Ewan McGregor. Great actor who does great movies. I’m such a sucker for a man with a beautiful voice.

Posted in Business Time, themaskedwino | Leave a Comment »

The Texas Toast – Summit Extra Pale Ale

Posted by RubyLynn on November 21, 2007

We here at the Horn are a big fan of pale ones (please observe our boyfriends as Exhibits A and B), so when I made a trip to Minneapolis/St. Paul this past weekend to visit a good friend (and great host!), I had to try Summit Brewery’s Extra Pale Ale.

Extra pale? We’re in heaven.

A local favorite in the Twin Cities, it’s brewed in St. Paul and is available pretty much everywhere up there on tap or in bottles. The Summit EPA has a rich hoppy flavor and has a nice smooth finish with sweet and fruity undertones. If it’s available where you are, definitely pick some up. Summit’s also got the Winter Ale out, and I have it on good authority that it’s pretty good. I would have tried it myself, but I was awfully full on margaritas (Apparently my margarita-making skills were the only reason I was invited to Minnesota in the first place.) You can check out the specs on the extra pale ale and Summit’s other brews at Summit Brewing.

I give the Summit Extra Pale Ale a solid 4.1/5.0.


Posted in Texas Toast, themaskedwino | Leave a Comment »

I’m REALLY Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 5, 6, 7…

Posted by TxHny on November 20, 2007

As Ron pointed out, I sort of fell off the wagon. I am very glad I am a Longhorn, just a busy Longhorn.
In an effort to makeup for missed time over the weekend, I offer the following collection:


tower.jpg texas-honeys.jpg
Beautiful Campus… Great Fans…


12th Man Entertainment @ TexAgs

yell-leaders.jpg cheer2.jpg
Ice Cream Men… Ironic Merchandise…

And to top it all off, I’ll request a little help from you. Yes, yes, it is a caption contest. I’ll get you started. Prize to be determined by your location. 🙂

“Why can’t you be more like Jamaal Charles?”

Posted in like - school spirit!, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 5 Comments »

Number 2 and Falling

Posted by burntorangehulk on November 20, 2007

Editor’s Note: This week we welcome back an old friend now under the name Burnt Orange Hulk. BOH graduated from the University of Texas with a degree in advertising. He is currently making the world a better place. What the f*** are you doing?

As we approach the last week of the regular season, enjoy his breakdown of #2 Kansas and join us in hoping to see more insightful, if angry, commentary from one of our favorite Texas Exes.

The Kansas football team makes the grade on the field the same way every great football team does in the classroom – with a high school caliber schedule. Taking a look at the teams Kansas steamrolled on its way to the top, you’ll find 75 losses. Multiply that by 1 Div – IAA, 2 MAC’s and a Sun Belt and you have a recipe for hype. Kansas must have hired a great resume writer because they are essentially a community college GPA padder being considered for an executive position. We’ll see if they can write a decent cover letter on Saturday against Missouri. If it’s impressive, they’ll get the final interview against the leader of the Big XII South. Assuming Kansas can sweet talk its way into the corner office, an Ivy League graduate will be waiting to show off the fruits of an expensive education… in his own backyard. Don’t expect this one to end like Pursuit of Happiness. The Rubik’s Cube might be difficult, but it doesn’t hit back.

Giving credit where credit is due – Mangino is a fantastic coach. He orchestrated an Oklahoma offense in 2000 that made a statement against Texas and went on to crush everything in its path. At the time, coaches snubbed Quentin Griffin before he strolled through the Texas D-line on his way to a game winning touchdown against Florida State for the National Title. This year the Big XII passed on another Texas player under Mangino’s enormous belt, who’s been passing on them ever since. As a resident of the Lake Travis area, my family enjoyed watching Reesing throw in high school. He’s a stellar athlete who learned from an incredible coach. Scouts – take notes from Mangino because the best from Lake Travis has yet to come. While Kansas’s schedule is weaker than Mangino’s metabolism, he sweats out every ounce of performance his players have to offer and that’s the sign of a great coach.

The “Opponents”

Florida International
– Well, they’re perfect at losing coming in at 10 and counting, allowing 395 points. Don’t give up yet, Kansas is just getting started.

Central Michigan
– A more respectable record with 5 losses, but wins only over teams with roughly 8 losses. I wouldn’t go reaching for the Gatorade cooler.

SE Louisiana
– Stumbling to 8 losses, barely beating a winless S F Austin, and allowing 45 points against 7 loss Div I-A Texas State.

– They carry 6 losses and have allowed 433 points to date.

Kansas State
– A squeaker win for KU against a 6 loss team that lost to the worst of the Big XII. Yes, they beat Texas in a freak show of Texas turnovers and return fiesta, but accomplished nothing more. Not to mention they allowed the train-wreck that is Nebraska to put up 73 points.

– 9 losses, allowed 444 points, Coach fired. We really don’t need to get more in depth than that.

– Another squeaker against a 6 loss team with its only legit win coming over OU. And OU sucks! (Ahem… TECH.)

– 5 losses with wins over a pathetic schedule of certified losers who scrape the bottom of the barrel for opponents. Coach soon to be fired.

– Don’t even call this experiment by the name Nebraska. Nebraska is a team I love to fear and share a cold one with. This thing I call Nebifornia has 6 losses and no resemblance of Nebraska football. Luckily for Callahan, the fans in that stadium are too classy to boo him off the field every week. The 76 points Kansas put up was impressive, but Nebifornia seems to have abandoned the concept of defense. Coach soon to be fired.

Oklahoma State
– Maybe the only quality win for the Jayhawks all season. A team with the most respectable, 5 loss, schedule. OSU is an inconsistent team with scattered talent that has a historical inability to finish games versus anyone besides OU (and they’re going to beat OU)! Coach Gundy, I don’t give a damn how old you are. I’m 26, and I’m talking shit about your team!

Iowa State
– What can we say about this 9 loss Baylor of the Big XII North? Well, they opened the season by falling to 8 loss Kent State. Even the Texas offense, in its struggle to establish a post-Vince game plan, kicked this team around like a rusty can in the gutter.

– Consistent offense and highly capable defense. They stifled high flying Tech, and kept it interesting against a healthy OU. If Kansas can take down the Tigers, not to mention convincingly, I will be impressed. This is definitely the match up I didn’t expect to stay awake through.

The Key Question:
Is Kansas a vastly improved football team emerging from the shadow of the basketball stadium, which deserves kudos from a conference full of teams that haven’t pulled their own weight in recent years? YES. Is Kansas the number 2 team in the nation? NO.

Posted in Big 12, burntorangehulk, Kansas, meat and taters | 2 Comments »

I’m Glad I’m A Longhorn – Day 4

Posted by TxHny on November 15, 2007

Alright, alright. I’ll relent… temporarily. My oldest friend in the world is an Aggie, I have an Aggie family member and many, many friends and colleagues from Texas A&M. As Thanksgiving is one week away (celebrating today at the firm), I’ll put it on the record – I’m thankful for Aggies.

I look forward to the Friday game each year and it is in fact, now tightly associated with my family holiday traditions. Furthermore, I’m glad we have a rivalry with a gang that relates to so many things we adore here at Texas: southern hospitality, tradition (in whatever way you define it), football, discipline, world class institutions of higher learning and  a (perhaps slightly unhealthy) love for the greatest state in the land.

Aggies, deep down I know you feel the same way.


Tomorrow, we’ll do a defensive rundown on our Lonestar rivals, and the ridicule will resume.

Posted in Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »

Project Runway – Football Style

Posted by RubyLynn on November 14, 2007

Tonight. Bravo. 9pm. Get excited!

We here at the Horn are ECSTATIC that the new season of Project Runway premieres tonight. We are especially excited that we’ve recruited Tim Gunn to critique some of football’s fashions. Don’t mess with the Gunn… or you’ll get shot!

I’m a little worried.

Well, I certainly admire your camaraderie, but wearing white after labor day is simply a faux pas, even in College Station. And I don’t get the red shoes, is that some sort of nod to the Wizard of Oz?

Oh, Coach Fran. I understand your man-mammaries are a problem area, but you’ve just got to make it work!

Oregon Football. Sometimes less is more! All of these tire treads remind me of Angela’s unnecessary rosettes!

Oh Mark. When will you learn? You’ve got a lot of problem areas here. I think it might help to choose some elongating garments. Perhaps something with a vertical line to it. You’re only as fat as you dress yourself.

Visors are SO last national championship. And really, pleated pants? How revolting!

I love this homage to the military thing that’s happening, but I wonder if it’s not a little confusing? I don’t really understand the tall boots with the short sleeves. Those boots are so hot this season when styled correctly.

Oh, where to start. I’m a little worried about this trend you’ve created. Those spray-painted S’s make me think of those god-awful message tees that were too popular for too long. What kind of a statement are you trying to make anyway? Are you super? Is the designer super? I’m just a little confused here. I think you might have to start from scratch with this one.

Thanks Tim! Great insight!

Posted in themaskedwino, tv shows we love | 1 Comment »

Business Time

Posted by RubyLynn on November 14, 2007

“You were like, “that’s it?” and I know you’re really like, “awww yeah…. that’s it.”

Adriana Lima. She speaks three languages, was discovered when she was 13, has been classified as the world’s sexiest virgin, and she dedicates her spare time and money to the ‘Caminos Da Luz’ orphanage in Bahia, her native home town in Brazil. We here at the Horn have a HUGE girl crush on this one. Wonder. Woman.

And in honor of Veteran’s Day earlier this week…

Nothing’s sexier than a man in uniform.

Especially when that man (in this case Navy’s Hawaiian QB Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada) will not only fight for our country, but against Notre Dame too!

Posted in Business Time, themaskedwino | Leave a Comment »