Gabriel's Horn

A terribly biased view of sports through the Eyes of Texas.

Archive for September, 2007

Meet the Opponent: Kansas State

Posted by TxHny on September 28, 2007

According to a reputable website the following behavioral indicators might provide corroborating evidence to explain exactly what happened last year:

“Did you change your routine in any way? Did you skip school classes, avoid places where the perpetrator might be? Did you stay in your room, grow silent, give others unusual explanations for your behavior?”

The answer to all of these are yes. So, if you weren’t perfectly clear about what happened last year: we were raped. I know, I know, it has been tough on all of us. However, with the proper counseling and a nice win on Saturday we’ll all be just fine.

Per usual, BON has tidied things up nicely with both this and this.

We’re just hoping it looks a lot more like this:

Rather than this:






Posted in Big 12, Get your act together dammit, Kansas State, Texas, txhny | Leave a Comment »

Big XII Roundtable – State of the Conference Address

Posted by TxHny on September 28, 2007

This week the Bix XII Roundtable hosted over at Crimson and Cream Machine returns. I’ve been frankly quite busy with work, so I’ve let my good friend write the post for me. He’s a little media shy so we’ll just call him “G. W.” to protect his personal privacy. Privacy is very important to G. W. (*Cough* *cough – wheeze* Patriot Act *cough*. You’ll have to excuse me, my allergies are killing me. Damn ragweed. *Sneeze*)

The Big 12 conference has only four unbeaten teams left and has endured numerous embarrassing performances on television. State where you believe the Big 12 ranks among the BCS conferences.

“What are you talking about? Of course the Big XII is the best conference in the world. What? You think the SEC, the Big East, or pff the Pac 10 can mess with us? Don’t mess with Texas. You fool me once well, shame on you. Fool me twice, and you aren’t going to fool me twice. Ya got that? Heh, heh, heh.”

What has been the conference’s best victory and worst defeat so far this season?

“What we need to discuss is the battle at hand: terrorists! We have to devote all possible resources and manpower to taking out these ‘ax-eeze’ of power. We’ve got the terrorists on the run. We’re keeping them on the run. One by one the terrorists are learning the meaning of Longhorn justice.”

The Kingpin, Enemy #1

Frandullah, Enemy #2

“Our worst defeat to date, is the loss of Oklahoma State against the City of Troy. I saw 300, and those guys are some bad sons-a-bitches. You see, the… thing is what they need to do is get over to Norman, to get Stoops-bollah to stop doing this shit and it’s over.”

Conference Power Rankings. The best part of the roundtable is voicing how we believe the conference teams rank each week, from top to bottom. So, go ahead, let us know who’s up and who’s down in your book this week.

  1. Oklahoma
  2. Dick Cheney
  3. Texas
  4. Missouri
  5. Nebraska
  6. Kansas
  7. Texas Tech
  8. Kansas State
  9. Oklahoma State
  10. Texas A&M
  11. Baylor
  12. Colorado
  13. Iowa State

There you have it. You may have noticed that there are a few questions missing. G. W. has been known to dance around topics that may upset particular constituents every now and then. Nobody really questions him and you shouldn’t either. I hear his friend Richard backs him up (and that guy eats glass shards and pickled baby feet for breakfast).

Posted in Big 12, blog love, Dick Cheney is a bad motha - shut yo mouth!, empty promises, Oklahoma, Roundtables, Texas A&M, txhny | 3 Comments »

The Texas Toast

Posted by RubyLynn on September 28, 2007

Toast: Bourbon (Specifically, mint juleps)

September is National Bourbon Heritage Month, and since Congress decided that bourbon is important enough to get a whole month, I think it’s at least important enough to get a spot on the Texas Toast.

After going the liquor store, Txhny and I decided it would be a great idea to make mint juleps. I’m generally a decent bartender, but I’ve never made them before. I know you’re supposed to use crushed ice, but we had cubes. And I know it’s better to make a simple syrup, but we’re lazy. So – this is what I made.

At least it looks pretty.

If you’ve never had a mint julep, even a properly made one, it’s mostly whiskey. So, if you like whiskey, super. I however feel about whiskey this week like Txhny felt about Fireman’s 4 last week. I keep trying it, and I still can’t get into it. I know it’s near blasphemy to be a southern girl and hate whiskey, but I just can’t help it. Besides, I make up for my lack of whiskey intake with lots and lots of tequila (and rum and wine). So – after trying my mint julep (and passing it off on our third and fourth roommates), I decided to make a mojito instead.

Screw Congress. This just tastes better.

Txhny gives my mint julep a 4 out of 5, even though I don’t think it deserves it.

Posted in Texas Toast, themaskedwino | 3 Comments »

Crank Dat…

Posted by gingerut on September 28, 2007

A little dancing by our own longhorns to get your Friday morning going.

Thanks to disco tech and of course, Dat Soulja Boy.

Posted in Central Florida, Texas | 2 Comments »

It’s business, It’s business time

Posted by RubyLynn on September 26, 2007

“But it’s okay because I turn it all into a sexy dance.”

Here ya go fellas:

That soft, touchable skin, those adorable ears, the knowing smile, the cute silly voice… what a great gal.

And for the ladies… We were going to find a picture of a Chicago Bear to put up, as a consolation prize for the ass-kicking they received from our beloved Cowboys, but upon finding that literally none of the Bears are good-looking enough to live up to our standards, we’re going with a tribute to the brand new Bachelor, Austinite Brad Womack:


Okay, okay… here’s the real one for the guys.

Carrie Underwood. Beautiful girl, beautiful voice. (But for the record, she can’t be an official girl-crush of ours because of her horrible, HORRIBLE fashion sense.)

Seriously? You can take the girl out of Oklahoma…

Posted in Business Time, themaskedwino, Tony Romo - hate hate hate, tv shows we love | 2 Comments »

Things I Think You Should Think

Posted by dahorns on September 25, 2007

Glass Half Full:

Yay Beer!

1. Our offense finally seemed to get together. It is nice to have at least one game where I’m not worried about going into sudden cardiac arrest.

2. The O-line was pushing people around and creating holes. We didn’t run Charles a lot, but I have no doubt he could have broken 150 given a few more carries.

3. Limas Sweed is back. He has had a quiet year until now. It is nice to see that he and Colt have finally seemed to find that chemistry that they had last year.

4. Our D-line is by far one of the best in the nation. They were all over rice today. Holding a team to negative rushing yards, no matter how much better you are than them, is a difficult task.

5. Muckleroy, Norton, Kindle. This is a group of Linebackers I can get behind. They are disruptive, they flow to the ball, and they hit hard.

6. McGee and Chiles looked very impressive. Rice was tired and over matched, but it is nice to see us move the ball so easily. Chiles and Colt will be on the field at the same time for at least a few plays per Greg Davis. I hope these plays work out better than the one we ran against Rice (seriously, why was Colt the one to head out to the Slot?), but this sounds promising. McGee ran hard and deserves carries at Charles expense (especially if he keeps fumbling). I would like to see a 10-20 split.

Drinking is still nice:


1. I know Txhny loves him, but Beasley is a liability when on the field. He has plenty of talent. His speed allows him to recover when his poor technique gets him all turned around, but he is basically constantly recovering. He gets lost and his receiver gets open. Hopefully he’ll eventually “get it”, but he should see only limited playing time as long as Foster can play.


3. Colt still isn’t right. He missed on several throws that he made consistently last year. Perhaps he is thinking too much, or perhaps he still isn’t accustomed to his extra strength Whatever it is, he doesn’t have the touch he did last year. His bad decisions continue. Should have thrown another interception again this week… but at least the mistakes were limited in comparison to previous weeks.

4. Charles, stop fumbling. Seriously… anytime now… I mean, we have duct tape, we have super glue. Why Charles seems to prefer baby oil, I can’t fathom.

5. Even Baylor scored 42 against Rice.

Posted in balls, dahorns, game observations | 2 Comments »

The Texas Toast

Posted by TxHny on September 25, 2007

Toast: Live Oak Pilz, Hickory Street Bar & Grill (and Drinkery!)

MMM…. hops.

Your writers were feeling the pressures of every day life, and skipped over to Hickory Street Bar & Grill for a little happy hour wind down. Unable to pick when faced with the delight of $2 pints and too many choices, we sampled Fireman’s 4 and the Live Oak Pilz.

I always try Fireman’s 4, and just like with Tony Romo, I can’t get on board. I don’t like Fireman’s 4. I need to stop trying to like it. I’ve made my peace with disliking my favorite NFL team’s QB, I need to give up on my favorite brewing company’s (Real Ale Brewing, Blanco, Texas) blonde ale.

After almost no deliberation we decided on the Live Oak Pilz. A little bit “meatier” than the previous weeks’ toasts, this beer has a lot of flavor. This pilsner is has a strong hoppy taste without being too heavy. Unlike some of our other toasts, this crisp beer is available year round. Not the best pilsner any of us ever had, but certainly not the worst. We still love Live Oak’s other beers, check out the rest  here.

Hickory Street on the other hand was fantastic. They have lots of patio and indoor seating. They have great happy hour specials, particularly the $2 drafts all day, every day. (And have the Mango Margarita. Trust us.) We enjoyed the Three Amigos (queso, salsa and chips) with our drinks and later, a delicious burger and fries. The far part of the patio has pleasant misters to help with the heat until fall weather (finally) arrives. Depending on the evening, they have live music and karaoke. On the weekend they have an all-you-can-eat Brunch that would make your momma proud.

Oh, and the wait staff is great. If the owner
and his dog are there, give them a hello.

Stop on by: 800 Congress, Austin, Texas. 512.477.8968

All in all, we give this beer a three out of five.

Three out of five, not too shabby. Cheers!

I’ll tack on another half because of that rich golden color. Doesn’t it look yummy? Another Texas Toast coming up soon!!!

Posted in bars clubs and other hangouts where we drink too much, Texas Toast, Tony Romo - hate hate hate, txhny | 5 Comments »

Save the Big 12. Save the World.

Posted by RubyLynn on September 24, 2007

This year, I am for the first time ashamed to be a part of the Big 12. I mean, really, the Big East is doing better than we are! The Big East!!! Texas certainly isn’t doing much to help our image, and A&M’s loss to Miami isn’t doing us any favors. The only thing I can think of to fix the ticking time bomb is for the Big 12 schools to realize their superhuman genetic abilities. So in tribute to the premiere tonight, here’s a list of the Big 12 as Heroes.

Claire Bennett: Oklahoma. They have a few lackluster seasons, and then they come out of nowhere as contenders for the national title this year. I am not looking forward to facing the indestructible cheerleader this year.

Nikki/Jessica Sanders: Texas Tech. You never know which team you’re going to get. Will they be a wimpering Nikki, or will Jessica throw you through a wall?

Peter Petrelli: Texas. So what, I’m biased. He’s totally got the coolest powers, and so do we.

Nathan Petrelli: Oklahoma State. Not even huge donations from questionable sources (Linderman=T. Boone) can stop this team from violently exploding.

Isaac Mendez: Baylor. Always looking to the future, because the present is just too difficult to handle.

Micah Sanders: Texas A&M. They actually have a pretty cool power and lots of potential, but instead of actually doing something with it they’d rather just whine and cry for mommy.

DL Hawkins: Nebraska. They must be DL, because Ball State ran right through them.

Mohinder Suresh: Iowa State. They don’t have any powers to speak of, and instead just wander around wondering what this mystery of “football” is all about.

Matt Parkman: Missouri. After failing the past several seasons (maybe due to football dyslexia), now they can hear what your Offense is thinking, and they shut you down like the FBI.

Hiro Nakamura: Colorado. Every Colorado fan spends their time back in 1990 when the Buffaloes were good.

The Haitian: Kansas. We’re not really sure what they’re doing, but they’re making their opponents forget how to play football.

Ted Sprague: Kansas State. Not doing too badly, but they’ll eventually self-destruct and bring everyone else down with them.

Sylar: USC. Okay, they’re not in the Big 12. But really, USC recruits all over the nation, sucking the talent away from other programs. Pete Carroll is trying to take over the world, and we must band together to beat Sylar.

Posted in Big 12, themaskedwino, tv shows we love | 2 Comments »

Best Thing I’ve Seen In A While…

Posted by TxHny on September 23, 2007

You know, before I saw John Chiles get some playing time.

You may have already seen this, it plays practically all day Saturday and Sunday, plus I’m sure Deadspin and others have picked it up. Still, watch it again. Soooo awesome.

Post game update by dahorns soon. And we owe you a Texas Toast. Sorry, busy week for txhny and themaskedwino.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Poor Aggies… and Big 12 too.

Posted by TxHny on September 21, 2007

In case you missed it, the Aggies fell to Miami last night in a rather unimpressive showing.

As much as I like my Aggie friends, I normally revel in an Aggie loss. (Particularly losses to Texas.) However, this does nothing for our already weak schedule. After this coming week’s game with Rice, we have the make-or-break clash of the titans in Dallas. (I’m currently reading Running With the Big Dogs, a book I somehow neglected during my tenure as a student. If you haven’t read it – pick up a copy, worth the read.) I’m not saying we will or won’t lose to Oklahoma, but a loss there is (as always) huge.

Besides Oklahoma, and potentially Nebraska or Tech, A&M was the last challenge we had to bolster our national title (or at least other BCS bowl) aspirations. As the rankings stand Nebraska and OU remain as our only ranked opponents. Tech could be ranked, as they will have to prove themselves against Mizzou. A loss to Oklahoma would be a kiss of death. (But you knew this already.) The season is certainly far from over, and I’m not counting my chickens yet, but these are dark days for the Big XII my friends.

And speaking of the kiss of death, this little scenario doesn’t bode well for Fran. Hear me out, I’m not voting him off the island after one loss. The win against Texas last year saved Fran in the eyes of many Aggies, many were still calling for his head. After this loss, and then if there are two or three losses to Tech, Nebraska, OU and Texas – given the weak state of the conference I think Fran will be firmly planted in the hot seat. Let’s hope the Ags pull wins in those games, except to Texas of course. (And no, I’m not ready to talk about Mack, Greg or Akina/McDuff. Ask me after Nebraska.)

Say Poor Aggies all you want but I really wish they would have kicked the snot out of the hurricanes just to put a notch on Big XII’s (and potentially Texas’) belt.

And the echo across the state: Fran, why didn’t Lane get more playing time??


Posted in Big 12, Get your act together dammit, Texas, Texas A&M, txhny | Leave a Comment »